Posts Tagged ‘legacy’

How much do you really love your loved ones?

Monday, January 18th, 2010

Everyone always gives lip service to how much they love their family, but if you don’t have a will, it’s just empty talk.

It's All About Aging Parrot LoveIn the survey we ran last fall, 45% of the people responding did not have a will. This is about on par with the national average. So what’s preventing you from doing this? If your idea of a legacy is leaving your family and friends fighting it out in probate court for years, then just go read another blog. If it’s one of those items forever haunting your to-do list, why don’t you decide to push it to the top of the list? Call your lawyer, make an appointment. If that’s to much for you, at least go to something like legalzoom, or Suze Orman’s site, where they have simple questionnaires to fill out and create a will. Here’s a pretty straightforward explanation from AARP: “Identify who will inherit your estate. Use your will to say who gets what. You can leave everything to your spouse, a painting to your granddaughter, divide everything equally between your two kids, or leave various percentages to friends and charities.”

So get to it! And for those of you who already have a will, when was the last time you updated it? Just a thought.

Don’t forget to check out this week’s Blogging Boomer’s Carnival, and please if you haven’t already, donate to the Red Cross or Doctors Without Borders to help Haiti.

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Posted in aging, conversation, family, legacy, will | 1 Comment »

How do you give yourself to science?

Monday, December 7th, 2009

A recent query on HARO was asking for sources who were considering donating their bodies to science. My husband It's All About Aging Bodyand I have always been organ donors, and we both want to give all or most of our body parts to science. Reuse, recycle, nothing new, right? But have you ever thought about how you go about actually arranging it? Like many other things, it’s not quite as easy as just having the idea.
While organ donation, at least in New York, is just a matter of signing the back of your drivers license, whole body donations are not quite so simple. First of all, you need to decide whether you want to be an organ donor or, donate your full body. I always thought you could harvest the organs, and then donate the body, but that’s not the case. First of all, organs need to be harvested while you’re still technically alive (but brain dead). Whole body donations are done once you’re dead, but need to be done before the body is embalmed. And there is also living donation, such as donating a kidney, or bone marrow while you’re still alive. The Mayo Clinic will decide which is the best use of your body, however most other sites will only take the body if the organs are intact.

According to Organdonor.gov: “You can inform your family that organ donation is your first choice, but if it is found that you are not medically suitable for organ donation, your family can carry out your wishes for whole body donation.” No matter what you decide to do, you must make your wishes known while you’re still alive. The Mayo Clinic and other sites have donor forms for both organ and whole body donations, but you also need to discuss your wishes with loved ones.

Remember that each organ and tissue donor saves or improves the lives of as many as 50 people. Isn’t that the best legacy you could leave?

And don’t forget to check out this week’s Blogging Boomer’s Carnival!

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Posted in conversation, family, legacy | 4 Comments »

Avoid Your Own Astor Disaster or Where There’s A Will…

Monday, October 12th, 2009
Do you want this to be your legacy?

Do you want this to be your legacy?

While it’s safe to say that no members of the Astor family will be taking away the Nobel Peace Prize (and congrats to President Obama) that’s not to say that we all haven’t been following the drama as it unfolds. Most of us are not in that financial stratosphere (and if you are, how about investing in this site?) but there are important lessons to be learned even if your estate consists of a minuscule savings account.

First, have a will. Surprisingly, in the survey we ran last month, of over 160 respondents, over a third of them didn’t have a will. The oldest group (70+), two out of three people did have a will, the third person hadn’t even started thinking of it. What are you waiting for? A free-for-all with your relatives and friends? A six month trial with endless appeals? In the age group 56-70 the majority had wills, but the numbers dropped significantly in the group 41-55 with only 54.7% having a will. This is a group that has children, but almost 25% of them didn’t have a will.
Even if you draft a basic document from one of the legal websites, like Legalzoom or go to Amazon.com for the Suze Orman’s Will & Trust Kit, it’s better than nothing at all, and no matter how much you may deny it, the thought of ________ getting their hands on your __________ should send you running to the lawyer.

Second, communicate with the people you care about. And communicate early. The more people who know what your wishes are, the less chance that your favorite Childe Hassam painting won’t disappear from over the sofa. Some people use the 40/70 rule for starting the conversation (meaning that when someone is either 40 or 70 start talking) but if you have children of any age, your estate should be in order to protect your children. And why would you want to make your passing any more painful for them by dying intestate (without a will)? On the CBS Moneywatch site there’s a great list of 12 tough questions to ask your parents, and don’t feel you have to limit it to your parents. You might want to go through the list yourself and make sure you have all these bases covered.  That’s what I did before I approached my parents.

I’ve learned from having these conversations with my parents that it’s REALLY tough to break the ice, but once it’s broken, you’ll be surprised at how easy it is to work on this, one step at a time. And isn’t a good night’s sleep, knowing everything is taken care of, better than the nightmare of endless legal wrangling? Let me know how you’ve done. The next time we do a survey, I want 99% to have a will, ok?

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Posted in aging, conversation, family, legacy, legal, memories, parents, will | 2 Comments »

Living and dealing with Alzheimer’s: Ann’s story and life lessons learned, part 2

Monday, April 6th, 2009

It's All About Aging Ann Mehl's mom, SallyAccording to the Center for Disease Control, the numbers surrounding dementia are staggering. Worldwide, there are now an estimated 24 million people living with some form of dementia. Sooner or later, we all will deal with parents and loved ones whose health and memories are failing them. As my siblings and I learn to care for my mom who has dementia, here are some of the lessons I have found to be important.

Get the paperwork in order. Now!
My mom used to keep meticulous records. But as her forgetfulness grows, her efficiency diminishes. In order to establish personal management over finances, our family consulted an adviser and reviewed my mom’s budget, assets, insurance policy and pension benefits. This often takes time on the ground with the bank, over the phone with agents or in meetings with accountants, lawyers, etc. It requires patience, but you will be pleased with yourself later should your parent get to a stage where you need to be in more control of matters.

Here some things to keep in mind:

Consider establishing Power of Attorney as well as Medical Power of Attorney.
If you need to register a joint checking account in order to pay bills, begin the process now.
Consolidate any outstanding debt or credit card balances into one payment plan.
Carve out a living will and trust if they are not already in place.
Keep an active list of all the medications and physician records in the case of an emergency.

Ann Mehl, Certified Life and Career Coach, http://www.annmehl.com

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Posted in Alzheimers, aging, legacy, legal, parents | 3 Comments »

Stories

Thursday, October 23rd, 2008

At a breakfast meeting yesterday, I had one of those light-bulb moments…you know when the caffeine kicks in? When it comes to issues about aging everyone has a story. The breakfast was titled Passport to Longevity: Women and the “Adventure of Aging”, sponsored by Merrill Lynch. David Solie and Adriane Berg were the speakers. They both come at the issues of aging from very different perspectives, but what stood out for me was the stories they both told. One of the things I want to do with this website is to have a space where people can tell their stories. Whether they’re legacy stories, to be passed on to another generation, stories of best practices, or stories to let off steam, all will be welcome.

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Posted in legacy, parents, stories | No Comments »