Posts Tagged ‘family’

What would you do for a raspberry blueberry pie? Secret family recipes.

Sunday, August 15th, 2010

Does your family have secret family recipes? Mine does. My mother’s secret recipe is for a raspberry blueberry pie. It’s powers are so strong that years ago an old friend of mine agreed to drive my parents’ cat from their house in Maine, back to Boston, in return for a pie of his own. Now I know you’re thinking that it sounds like a pretty sweet deal, pun intended, but the cat in question was not a good passenger. Not only would he howl for the entire four hour trip, he would manage to do so in between throwing up on whoever or whatever was in the back seat.

My grandmother, on my father’s side, was famous for the caramels she would make every year for Christmas. We couldn’t wait for the package to come from Michigan. There was always a small box with perfectly wrapped caramels full of buttery goodness. My parents would dole out the caramels day by day if we were good, until Christmas when the box usually was finished before dinner.My brother got the recipe from Grandma before she died.

The next time you get together with your family, remember the great recipes that are part of almost all our heritages. What’s your family’s heirloom recipe?

Don’t forget this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival!

Beneficiaries Who Do You Choose? Rock, Paper, Scissors, IRA, 401K?

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

Not sure how this came up, it might be because of the ability to transfer your IRA to a Roth IRA this year, but I recently

Who to choose? How to choose?

Who to choose? How to choose?

started thinking about who my beneficiaries should be, and how you choose them. Everyone is used to just signing spouses, parents, kids, on insurance and retirement plans, but are there guidelines? Is there a smart way to approach this?

Understand that my list isn’t very long. My husband of course, but if we go together, then what?  Since we don’t have children, that eliminates one obvious group. From there it gets dicier. When my niece and nephew were younger, they were listed so there would be money for their education.  Now they are pretty much out on their own, and while some  money for them would be a nice thing, is it the best use of the money? Do you give leave it to someone older that is needier? What about charities?

Turns out this is a much bigger issue, than just picking a couple of relatives, and signing your name. First of all, you need to decide if tax planning will be an issue (is it ever not?), or if you just want to give away the “stuff” and let your heirs deal with the tax implications. According to attorney Amie Gartenberg, “the tax tail wags the dog”, and with inheritance tax rules currently in flux…

The other thing I didn’t know, was that bequests in your IRA, 401K etc, supersede those in a will. What I also learned is that you should review all these documents periodically with your attorney. Just think about it like this, every time there’s a new president, you should probably make an appointment, as taxes seem to change with every administration. And people forget to update wills and other documents when they or their family members undergo major life changes, such as divorce, federal indictments, or a loosing poker hand.

So this year, spring cleaning for me will include dusting off my will and other documents, and making sure everything is up to date. What about you?

Don’t forget about this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival. Where else can you find out whether spring clogs are for those of us over 40, and other great topics?

Oprah pledges to make her car a no phone zone, will you?

Monday, February 15th, 2010

On Friday I was listening to the Oprah show, when she started talking about making her car, and every car in America, a no phone zone. That means (depending on your level of participation), no texting, only hands-free use, or just plain not using your phone while driving. Then she had her hands free to autograph a Chrysler…

My parents with their new car

My parents with their new car

I’m certainly down with no texting, and hands free in a car, but there are definitely times when having a cell phone in the car could be important, as my parents recent adventure will prove. But the texting and driving thing, I don’t understand at all! How can you possibly think you can type and drive a car? If you think you can, besides the fact that you’re wrong, and there are too many deadly accidents to prove it, what is SO urgent, that you would put so many lives in danger?  And if it is that urgent, should you even be behind the wheel of a car?

Years ago when I bought a sports-car (yes, middle aged women do it too), I took a two day driving course at Skip Barber, the scariest part of it wasn’t doing 360′s on the skid pad, but in the classroom when the instructor told us that people’s driving skills peak at 5000 miles, and go downhill from there. When did you hit 5000 miles?

But I’m digressing. This was originally going to be a blog about a problem my parents had with their car on their way to see us. It ended up with them waiting 45 minutes in the cold, by the side of the Massachusetts Turnpike for someone to help them. We’ve asked them for a long time to get a cellphone, in case of emergencies, and they resisted. Not sure if this is going to change their minds, but if it does, I’m happy to buy them a phone (hint, hint). If any of this sounds familiar, how did you handle it? Or did it take an emergency to force the issue? Why does it ALWAYS take an emergency to force an issue?

And if you’d like to sign Oprah’s  no phone pledge, click here.

This week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival is being hosted by Fabulous After 40. Be sure to check it out here.

Hike 4 Hope. Will you please support a great event?

Monday, February 8th, 2010

This week’s blog is about a great event, Hike 4 Hope (that unfortunately I cannot attend this year). My friend Leslie wrote this earlier this week, and I think it says it all. Please give what you can to our team.

“My business partner, Eileen Stern, is an amazing can do woman.  Having lost 6 family members in a year (including her Mother) to cancer, she turned her tragedy into triumph by creating Hike 4 Hope, a fundraiser to fund women’s cancer research at City of Hope.   Twelve years later her grass roots idea has blossomed into an annual event & this year will host over 1000 participants hiking in the majestic Indian Canyons of Palm Springs.

When it comes to fund-raising for City of Hope, I have no shame.  My commitment to COH is a personal one.  Given three months to live, I’m alive today because of COH’s collaboration, care & research/development of the drug Rituxan.  COH research has also led to the development of other leading anti-cancer drugs; Herceptin, Avastin and Erbitux, as well as synthetic human insulin –all of which are saving millions of lives worldwide.  Additionally COH has pioneered the use of TOMO Therapy (pin point radiation) & the DaVinci surgical system (prostate cancer).

We are aware of an injured economy.  Unfortunately active cancer cells could care less.  Far too many of us know someone whose life has been impacted by this disease.  This year we’ve formed a team to hike in honor of our dear friend, Marcelle Freides, who is again battling breast cancer after a 5 year remission.  The great news is she is being co-treated at both St. John’s Hospital in Santa Monica & City of Hope.

This Valentines Day marks 4 years since my initial cancer diagnoses and a day of sharing gifts from the heart.  Please open your heart and support me by joining Marcelle’s Mighty Marchers through the link.  Your gift of hope will help benefit all the mothers, daughters, friends, and loved ones who deal with the shock of a cancer diagnosis every minute.”

And please don’t forget to check out this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival.

January getting you down? Tips for getting though till spring.

Monday, January 25th, 2010

I’ve adapted these great tips from Sheila Weinstein, who originally wrote them to get through the holidays. Don’t you think they’re great for any tough period? And remember, spring is just around the corner. It's  All About Aging January

  1. Let someone know you are alone and would like some company. Often we have no family nearby; friends are occupied and forget that we don’t have anyone to be with so it can be a very tough time. More often than not they are happy to include us in their plans, but they cannot read our minds, so we have to let them know.
  2. Find others who are alone and invite them to share your own table. There are many other people out there who share our feelings.  Together we can have a lovely, enriching time.
  3. Nurture yourself. Sometimes we prefer to be alone rather than in the company of others…too much noise…too much talk. Treat yourself as beautifully as you would a guest. Buy yourself flowers. Cook yourself a lovely dinner. This is the time to concentrate on you and give yourself the love and attention you would give to someone else. You are the most important person in your life.
  4. Rent your favorite funny movie — one sure to make you laugh. A hearty laugh is as therapeutic as a good cry.
  5. Volunteer to serve a meal at a shelter or soup kitchen where your help is appreciated and you can reach out and touch others with your good will.
  6. Create a ritual that has meaning for yourself. For instance, write a note or a prayer to your loved one, or one for yourself and your new life. Put it in a balloon and let it fly.
  7. •    Be grateful. Keep a positive attitude for all that you DO have. Write down what you are grateful for and keep it where you can see it.
  8. Get out in nature. Take a long walk or drive to a spot that gives you comfort and peace. It helps us realize there is something much bigger than our own pain.
  9. Give yourself permission to be happy. Allowing ourselves to enjoy the life we have paves the way for a fulfilling future.

Which will you do? What would you add?

Be sure to check out Sheila’s book Moving to the Center of the Bed,the Artful Creation of a Life Alone on her website: www.centerofthebed.com or on Amazon.com.

And don’t forget to check out this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival, you never know what we’ll be blogging about.

How much do you really love your loved ones?

Monday, January 18th, 2010

Everyone always gives lip service to how much they love their family, but if you don’t have a will, it’s just empty talk.

It's All About Aging Parrot LoveIn the survey we ran last fall, 45% of the people responding did not have a will. This is about on par with the national average. So what’s preventing you from doing this? If your idea of a legacy is leaving your family and friends fighting it out in probate court for years, then just go read another blog. If it’s one of those items forever haunting your to-do list, why don’t you decide to push it to the top of the list? Call your lawyer, make an appointment. If that’s to much for you, at least go to something like legalzoom, or Suze Orman’s site, where they have simple questionnaires to fill out and create a will. Here’s a pretty straightforward explanation from AARP: “Identify who will inherit your estate. Use your will to say who gets what. You can leave everything to your spouse, a painting to your granddaughter, divide everything equally between your two kids, or leave various percentages to friends and charities.”

So get to it! And for those of you who already have a will, when was the last time you updated it? Just a thought.

Don’t forget to check out this week’s Blogging Boomer’s Carnival, and please if you haven’t already, donate to the Red Cross or Doctors Without Borders to help Haiti.

2009: the year in review. The top 3 most commented on blogs.

Monday, December 28th, 2009

In the spirit of year end reviews, best of lists, and taking a break before conquering 2010, here are the top three most commented blogs from 2009. Which was your favorite?

From June 1st: What would you do for a raspberry blueberry pie? Secret family recipes.

What would you do for a pie?

Does your family have secret family recipes? Mine does. My mother’s secret recipe is for a raspberry blueberry pie. It’s powers are so strong that years ago an old friend of mine agreed to drive my parents’ cat from their house in Maine, back to Boston, in return for a pie of his own. Click here to read the rest of the blog.

From Ann Mehl on March 30th: Living and dealing with Alzheimer’s: Ann’s story and life lessons learned

My mom suffers from dementia. She’s all mixed up and she knows it. Since my father passed away over four years ago, I’ve watched my mother slip deeper and deeper into a shadowy fog of memory loss. The most difficult part is watching her observe the changes in herself. “I just don’t know what’s happening to me. I used to be so on top of things,” she will often lament. Click here for more.

And the most commented on, from June 8th: What’s the number one thing you’d miss from your handbag? Or can I survive a week without Blackberry, Amex?

It's All About Aging peonysThis was going to be a totally different topic today, but I thought I’d stray to what’s really on my mind. Because I can, you know.

Last night I filled up the car to come back to the city with giant containers of stuff from Costco, a big bunch of peonies from my garden (probably the last for the season), and the usual stuff that commutes from the city to the country. What was left behind, was my purse, and all its contents. Click here for more, and all the comments.

Have a happy & healthy new year! What are the topics you’d like to see covered in 2010?

Holiday survival? Entertain yourself with holiday dinner bingo.

Monday, December 21st, 2009
Lost at holiday bingo again...

Lost at holiday bingo again...

When my friends and I used to go to Rancho La Puerta, the highlight of the week for everyone was bingo night, probably because there was unlimited popcorn for the participants. I still have the set of 5 papier mache napkin rings I won one night (and have always wondered if 5 is a significant number in Mexico). You may have also heard about meeting bingo where you track all the tired business cliches…”at the end of the day, teambuilding, thinking outside the box, metrics, etc”. And thanks to About.com, course someone’s already figured out how to use this to teach you how to be a better manager…

The Cleveland Plains Dealer has a way to bring entertainment to Christmas dinner, or any family gathering. You mark down on a card every time you hear someone saying something really dumb, annoying, or just typical. On their site you  can download game boards, but why not create your own? And the prize can be whatever you were going to re-gift. For my family I’m created my own Holiday Bingo, knowing that some of the following will get you closer to “Bingo!”. If you’d like a copy of the cards, please comment on the blog & I’ll send them to you.

I’ve been overserved
This is delicious
Flatter the cook, ask for seconds
Who needs more champers?
It’s two buck Chuck
How long does the roast cook?
Very thin white bread
Save the wrappings

What about your family? What are the top holiday clichés from around your table?

Happy Holidays to all, and please check out the last Blogging Boomers Carnival of 2009.

How do you give yourself to science?

Monday, December 7th, 2009

A recent query on HARO was asking for sources who were considering donating their bodies to science. My husband It's All About Aging Bodyand I have always been organ donors, and we both want to give all or most of our body parts to science. Reuse, recycle, nothing new, right? But have you ever thought about how you go about actually arranging it? Like many other things, it’s not quite as easy as just having the idea.
While organ donation, at least in New York, is just a matter of signing the back of your drivers license, whole body donations are not quite so simple. First of all, you need to decide whether you want to be an organ donor or, donate your full body. I always thought you could harvest the organs, and then donate the body, but that’s not the case. First of all, organs need to be harvested while you’re still technically alive (but brain dead). Whole body donations are done once you’re dead, but need to be done before the body is embalmed. And there is also living donation, such as donating a kidney, or bone marrow while you’re still alive. The Mayo Clinic will decide which is the best use of your body, however most other sites will only take the body if the organs are intact.

According to Organdonor.gov: “You can inform your family that organ donation is your first choice, but if it is found that you are not medically suitable for organ donation, your family can carry out your wishes for whole body donation.” No matter what you decide to do, you must make your wishes known while you’re still alive. The Mayo Clinic and other sites have donor forms for both organ and whole body donations, but you also need to discuss your wishes with loved ones.

Remember that each organ and tissue donor saves or improves the lives of as many as 50 people. Isn’t that the best legacy you could leave?

And don’t forget to check out this week’s Blogging Boomer’s Carnival!

How to Marry an Internet Serial Killer: Throw a Surprise Wedding

Friday, November 20th, 2009

I was never one of those women who pictured herself in a big white gown, walking down the aisle. For me it was more about getting married in Las Vegas by an Elvis impersonator on the Strip and having a great party in New York afterward.

When Frank and I decided to get married, my only stipulation was that my mother didn’t know about it. If that sounds harsh, understand the women on my mother’s side of the family tend to be a little obsessive. To compound that, my mother and my aunt are twins, my aunt lives in Manhattan, and used to be one of the famous fact checkers at the New Yorker. If the twins knew about the wedding, it would be endless obsession over food, drink, napkins, guests… everything.

It's All About Aging WeddingAs we usually host Thanksgiving, the plan was to get married the next afternoon. A justice of the peace was found who would come to our country house and perform the ceremony. We told everyone he was an architect coming to look at the house, and he was great about playing along.

On Friday afternoon, a few friends and family were up at our house eating turkey sandwiches, hanging out in their slippers. My best friend/maid of honor, and I were frantically trying to put the Martha Stewart touch to a bunch of lily of the valley. When the justice of the peace showed up, I came down the stairs in an off white cashmere turtleneck and velvet skirt and said “I know you thought we were going to announce our engagement tonight, and we still might, but right now we’re getting married”. Supposedly the look on my father’s face was amazing, and I’m sorry I missed it.

After the brief ceremony, we had champagne and cake, and went off to a celebratory dinner at the Beekman Tavern in Rhinebeck. My mother was thrilled, and as it turned out, grateful that she didn’t have to do anything but enjoy herself.

Three weeks later, we had the big party at our apartment in Manhattan, surrounded by friends and family. The highlight of the party was an amazing wedding cake made by two of my friends out of two hundred Tastykakes (Frank is from Philly). It's All About Aging Tastykakes

And for the past eleven years, we’ve lived happily ever after, always celebrating our anniversary on the Friday after Thanksgiving. Love you sporto!

Don’t forget to check out this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival, and have a Happy Thanksgiving!