Stubborn. How Many Baby Boomers Are Dealing With This?

A good friend of mine, like a lot of other Boomers, has a lot on her plate. She’s caregiving for her husband and her mother, working, and a long-distance grandma to four grand-kids. Her mom is living alone, not far from my friend, increasingly fragile and needy. She thought she had things worked out; her mother would go to live with her sister in California. That is until it came time for her mother to go to California. Stubborn, and set in her ways, not to mention the home she’s lived in for years, she put her foot down and refused to budge.

It made me wonder, how you start to broach this conversation, and what the signs are that your loved ones shouldn’t be on their own any more. The fact that you can’t cope is certainly a strong signal, but there should be earlier warning signs, and there are.

According to my friends at, there are five signs a loved one might need assisted care:

  1. Does your family member’s skin feel soft and have a normal color?
  2. Can your family member see clearly?
  3. Can your family member hear you?
  4. Is there food in the refrigerator?
  5. Are medications current and being taken regularly?

I know what you’re thinking…I can answer these questions but this is not giving me the tools I need to have this conversation. So here goes…AARP has a really good post on starting a conversation. Click here for the link. Jacqui at also gave me these two links for assessing your loved ones needs, and their site has the full answers to the five questions.

“Talking To Your Loved Ones About Their Care” from the American Health Care Association

“Assessing The Need” from Comfort Keepers. This is a really good assessment guide.

Thanks to Jacqui and Chris at for their help with this! And be sure to check out this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival. There’s a great post from our hostess. Check it out and comment if you don’t think Boomers are “a bunch of big fat heavy drug users who never exercise and are bad with money”. Doesn’t sound like anyone I know, what about you?

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3 Responses to “Stubborn. How Many Baby Boomers Are Dealing With This?”

  1. [...] All About Aging wants you to know about the 5 signs that your loved ones might need assisted care, and how to talk to them about [...]

  2. I will be passing this on to many friends in need of this.

  3. Jo-Anne L says:

    Wonderful post. So many of us are dealing with this very exact issue – a parent or aging loved one who desperately needs help, yet refuses, absolutely refuses to budge, listen, move, accept, whatever…..

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