Archive for the ‘goals’ Category

Spirituality & Self-Improvement: Is This A Boomer Thing?

Thursday, June 17th, 2010

If it's so easy, why am I so overwhelmed?

Have you ever read the Oprah Magazine? I subscribed a few months ago, mostly because it was $5 a year from Amazon. When I finally got around to reading the May issue, I was struck by the number of columns that dealt with spirituality, and self improvement. It made me wonder why women seem to need to improve their inner beings every 5 minutes or every other page. The other thing I started to think about was where men go to get in touch with their inner selves. You sure wouldn’t find an issue of Sports Illustrated giving tips on improving anything but your luck in the fantasy leagues. Maybe Men’s Health, (no, that’s all about performance)?

  • So do men get in touch with their inner beings?
  • Where do they go for inspiration?
  • Do you think they get it from watching their favorite team get trounced by their rivals?
  • Do women give it to them by osmosis?
  • What if they’re on their own?
  • Why do women seem to need it so much more then men?

I posed the question to a few people, some men, some women. The most serene person I know reminded me that most of the top spiritual books are written by men (my theory: they know where the money is and that most self-help book are bought by women). She thinks that men read more of this than you might think, and most of the classes she’s been to have had just as many guys as women. Someone else told me that a lot of men aren’t spiritual until they go through a 12 step program. When I threw it up to my husband, he said that he always finds truth in music, and that he became self aware through therapy.

  • But how much self awareness is enough and when is it too much?
  • If you shirk from it does that make you less of a person?
  • What does it mean if you find it in every other page of a magazine?
  • If it’s so easy to put your life on the right track, why don’t we?

Just this week, through books and magazines, I’ve been invited to “wake up to reality” by asking four questions, to make my life a success by following The Success Principals, to reject self-loathing and treat myself with the “kindness and respect you would show your best friend”, to make the right thing the easy thing to do, etc. etc, and it’s only Monday! What do you think?

Don’t forget this week Blogging Boomers Carnival. There are some great posts, including donating your body to science.

Hike 4 Hope. Will you please support a great event?

Monday, February 8th, 2010

This week’s blog is about a great event, Hike 4 Hope (that unfortunately I cannot attend this year). My friend Leslie wrote this earlier this week, and I think it says it all. Please give what you can to our team.

“My business partner, Eileen Stern, is an amazing can do woman.  Having lost 6 family members in a year (including her Mother) to cancer, she turned her tragedy into triumph by creating Hike 4 Hope, a fundraiser to fund women’s cancer research at City of Hope.   Twelve years later her grass roots idea has blossomed into an annual event & this year will host over 1000 participants hiking in the majestic Indian Canyons of Palm Springs.

When it comes to fund-raising for City of Hope, I have no shame.  My commitment to COH is a personal one.  Given three months to live, I’m alive today because of COH’s collaboration, care & research/development of the drug Rituxan.  COH research has also led to the development of other leading anti-cancer drugs; Herceptin, Avastin and Erbitux, as well as synthetic human insulin –all of which are saving millions of lives worldwide.  Additionally COH has pioneered the use of TOMO Therapy (pin point radiation) & the DaVinci surgical system (prostate cancer).

We are aware of an injured economy.  Unfortunately active cancer cells could care less.  Far too many of us know someone whose life has been impacted by this disease.  This year we’ve formed a team to hike in honor of our dear friend, Marcelle Freides, who is again battling breast cancer after a 5 year remission.  The great news is she is being co-treated at both St. John’s Hospital in Santa Monica & City of Hope.

This Valentines Day marks 4 years since my initial cancer diagnoses and a day of sharing gifts from the heart.  Please open your heart and support me by joining Marcelle’s Mighty Marchers through the link.  Your gift of hope will help benefit all the mothers, daughters, friends, and loved ones who deal with the shock of a cancer diagnosis every minute.”

And please don’t forget to check out this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival.

What I’m shredding in 2010. 8 things that will stay in the past.

Monday, January 4th, 2010

It's All About Aging Shredded PaperOne of my recent, favorite, end of year traditions is the giant shredder they have in Times Square in the last days of the year. According to the NY Post: “New Yorkers brought their most loathsome memories of 2009 to Times Square yesterday and tossed them into a giant shredder.” There’s something about the idea of shredding all the bad stuff and starting fresh, that appeals to me, much more than making resolutions. So, with that in mind, here’s what I purged mentally and physically, big and small, from last year and the last decade (not one of my favorites).

  1. Shredded: the chance of loosing my computer data by backing up to a portable hard drive, and  an online service (thanks, Ellen).
  2. My passwords: time for new ones, and a list of them somewhere, in case of emergency.
  3. Stuff: dropped off a few things to Housing Works that were taking up space mentally & physically. I’ve learned to keep a shopping bag with a running list in my closet, if you just take a few things at a time, it’s much easier.
  4. My roots: was way overdue to see Peter at Christopher Stanley.
  5. My other roots: when the final taxes are done, Project Solvers, my former company, and my storage space where all the old records lurk.
  6. Doubts: whatever has been holding me back from going full speed ahead with It’s All About Aging. Bootstrapping is a wonderful thing, right? A new improved website is on the horizon.
  7. Personal roadblocks: Gone! Relegated to the last decade…ciao!
  8. 10 pounds: That means dumping 100 calories a day or upping the aerobic exercise. Easy!

So, what do you want shredded from the past?

Caregiving for seniors, a story with a positive outcome

Monday, May 18th, 2009

It's All About Aging Mom and Dad's WeddingSometimes you stumble upon an offering which truly makes your life easier. I want to share one with you, especially as the story has a positive outcome.

My mom’s dementia causes her to feel afraid to venture far from home. I’ve spoken about her in a previous post: http://www.itsallaboutaging.com/blog/?p=230

In an effort to keep her mind stimulated and her body active, I had been researching services online which provide options for caregiving on a basic level to seniors. My interest was to find a local woman whom I could meet and interview, who would understand my mom’s situation and act as a companion to my mother in my absence.

http://www.craigslist.org/ did not feel trustworthy as a source and a call into the local chapter of http://www.alz.org/ wasn’t returned. Thankfully my sister located a site that provided us with the ease and comfort we were looking for in locating assistance: http://www.care.com.

Care.com provides a place for families and providers to easily connect, share caregiving stories, and get advice. The service enabled us to find and select an individual who had experience and references. My ultimate hope was that my mother would look forward to seeing this woman on a daily basis and a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship will flourish.

We quickly scheduled a date with a woman, “Lisa”, who looked friendly in her online profile, to meet with me, my sister and my mom.

Prior to the visit, Lisa asked us a few questions which I found to be worthwhile, such as:

-        Please let me know qualities about your mom which might be helpful to me in getting to know her.

-        What nutritional needs does she have?

-        What type of music does she enjoy?

-        Are there any subjects which I should steer clear of?

-        Does she have a list of medications for which I need to be mindful?

-        What is your mom’s favorite movie?

-        Does she have any trouble sleeping?

-        Are there books she tends to read?

-        What makes her laugh?

Lisa believed that most of the answers would flow from our interview together but she took the time to be thoughtful about gathering information beforehand. She gave me the feeling that she was interested to get to know the “woman”, (my mother), well beyond the “job”.

After a thorough in-person screening, we felt connected with her as she developed rapport with my mom and showed an understanding of the situation. Lisa also addressed my mom directly during the meeting.

I decided to hire her because her approach reminded me of the motto I had embraced while volunteering for http://www.littlebrothers.org which stated, “Flowers Before Bread”. Little Brothers – Friends of the Elderly as an organization strongly believes that aging adults deserve the special pleasures in life along with the basic necessities. I agree that love and dignity and beauty in life are as basic as physical needs.  I wanted for my mom’s caregiver to feel that way too.

We set up the arrangement as a trial basis for 1 month so that both parties could see if it was working. Since we started, it has been a learn-as-you-go experience. Thankfully, my mom has expressed  gratitude for the shared lunches that they’ve had, along with the walks in the park. Just as you’d court a partner for life, so are we getting to know our new caregiver. One day at a time.

Ann Mehl, Certified Life and Career Coach, http://www.annmehl.com

It’s All About Aging, what people need to know about planning for aging relatives

Monday, March 16th, 2009

It's All About Aging Anne Maxfield Chief Visionary OfficerCreating a website is difficult. It’s a lot like renovating a house. Takes twice as long, costs twice as much, and the punch list is endless.

It’s All About Aging was created to fill a hole I saw in the aging/caregiving space. As much as my father might think it’s all about him having “one foot in the grave” it’s really more about watching lots and lots of people I know struggle to make life as easy and painless for their parents, as their parents did for them. As much as we Baby Boomers are used to finding information in a book, or more recently online, there are no great self-help books or all inclusive websites, to help us smooth the road for our parents, and later for ourselves.

Our goal is to prepare families with aging parents to make the most of every day.

 

It’s All About Aging eases the stress and fear that can be part of the aging process. We do this by offering:

 

·       Information: Knowledge is power. We provide facts about the best care, resources, health care, medical and legal developments so you can plan and prepare.

·       Support: You’re not alone. Create your own support system within our easy to access Internet community and share with others who understand exactly what you are going through.

·       Organization: Organize and take control. Scan and upload important documents to our safe and secure virtual safe deposit box, so everything is where you need it when you need it.

 

There’s so much more on the site. Won’t you take a look, and let us know what needs to be added to the punch list?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hike 4 Hope: Successful fundraising in a recession for City of Hope Hospital

Thursday, March 12th, 2009
same-time-next-year-gals1

Hike 4 Hope participants

Last week I took part in the 11th annual Hike 4 Hope. My friend Eileen started it to help raise money for breast cancer research at City of Hope Hospital. This year is her 60th birthday, and her biggest birthday wish was for us to raise as much money as possible for the hike.

Great news! Our team Same Time Next Year Gals was the number one fund raising team. We raised over $13,000 and I personally raised over $1500! Have you contributed? It’s not too late  just click on the link.

Thanks to everyone who contributed. It means a lot especially in these tough times. Apologies to Starbucks if people gave up their lattes for a day or two. How many of you gave up lattes or lunch?

Death in the recession. It won’t stop debt collectors!

Monday, March 9th, 2009

debt

Now I’m not sure if the Do Not Call List covers bill collectors, but if it does, this may be the best reason to make sure you, your family, and loved ones are signed up for it. According to an article in the NY Times last week the most effective debt collections are coming from the newly deceased. Forget about the living, they’re unemployed, angry and broke. They go for an easier target; grieving families who will probably say anything to get the bill collectors off the phone. In most states if there are insufficient funds in the estate, family members are not required to use personal assets to pay the deceased’s individual debts. That doesn’t slow companies like DCM Services who claim to be the only national collection agency exclusively focused on deceased collections.

Are you indignant yet? DCM Services proudly sponsors a website called My Way Forward, “Your guide to loss and recovery”, and they are welcoming NY Times readers to join for free. There’s not a link to the site, it’s my small way of not contributing to their page view rankings.

So here’s my question: if there was no money in the estate, would you pay off the debts of a deceased loved one? Would it depend on what the debts were for?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Live longer, reduce stress, lower calories, give back

Monday, February 16th, 2009

According to a recent blog from Harvard Business Publishing, giving back can reduce stress, and helps you to live longer. Since this site is going to be all about aging, anything that will help you prolong that process…

On March 1st I will be participating in the 11th annual Hike for Hope in Palm Springs. It’s a family-oriented, non-competitive hiking event to support women’s cancer research at City of Hope is on March 1, 2009 in the beautiful Indian Canyons of Palm Springs.

Finding a cure for this devastating disease is very important to me, by raising funds and participating in Hike 4 Hope, we can make a difference.

2009_hfhlogo_160Even though it’s a dreadful economy for all of us, here’s my suggestion… just skip one Grande Frappuccino at Starbucks, and donate the $5. Not only will you be giving the money to a great cause, you’ll save yourself hundreds of calories, reduce stress, and help you live longer. Win/win, right?

To sponsor me click on, or cut and paste the link below. You can use your credit card to donate online. It is safe, easy and 100% tax deductible.

https://secure.cityofhope.org/fundraising/vfs/15307253/5283      

Thank you so much for your support!

Getting the Conversation Started with Aging Family Members. List Medications You’re Taking

Tuesday, January 6th, 2009

It's All About Aging Anne Maxfield Chief Visionary OfficerWant an easy project to get you started getting papers and documents in order? Make a list of all medications you take. Include all over-the-counter medications, as well as vitamins and other supplements. When you’re done with that, make a list for all other family members. You can keep it on your computer, or just write it down and file it with your medical information. Bring it with you the next time you see your doctor, and review it, to make sure there’s nothing on it that might be contraindicated.

Here’s a list from the It’s All About Aging website to get started. It’s a Word Document so you can fill it out on your computer, and save it or print it and fill it out by hand. Use it to get started. Just do it. If you see anything we’ve missed, will you comment, and let us know?

This is another good tool to get the conversation started with your parents and other aging relatives, in a non-threatening way. Sit down with them and fill it out together, and then walk with them through their bathroom medicine chest, bedside table and kitchen to make sure you’ve remembered everything.

Control your future

Monday, December 29th, 2008

It’s hard to imagine not having control over your future, but that’s the risk you take if you avoid planning. If you’ve ever seen the show Trading Places, you’ve probably shared the moment of horror…how could they let them do that to that room? Well, even the best intentioned friends and family, don’t know exactly what your tastes are, or how you live in the space. What if those same people were responsible for your future, living at home or assisted living? Hooked up to life support, or DNR?  Do you really want the same person who agreed to covering your bathroom walls in fake flowers to decide if you’re on a feeding tube? Of course not.

No resolutions, just make it a goal for 2009 to put your affairs in order. Wills, living wills, health care proxies, decide to take care of one a month. Do it for yourself, your family, and your parents. If you already have the paperwork done, take some time to review it and update anything that has changed.

And if you need some more impetus…http://tlc.discovery.com/fansites/tradingspaces/topten/oddmaterials/oddmaterials_07.html