October 1st, 2010
There seems to be a big need for a site like It’s All About Aging. Too many people are dealing with issues involving their parents and/or themselves with no single source of information. No way to get your ducks in a row and plan for the future, and so much to plan for.
Five years ago when I was conceptualizing it, and figuring out my exit strategy from my former company, people were tossing crazy sums of money at Internet companies. Since this would be my second “child” getting it funded should be easy (easier?). Right. By the time I was looking for funding, the economy had crashed, and money had dried up.
But this isn’t supposed to be a rant about trying to build a new business in the face of adversity, and how the obstacles just get higher and higher. It’s supposed to be a blog about the amazing people I’ve met in the journey, and the lessons learned along the way. I’ve made new friends that will be friends for a long time, and I’ve started to learn what makes me happy.
One of the things that makes me happy is food and cooking. For those of you who get the newsletter, you know I’ve been working on a cooking show and related site, the Accidental Locavore. So I’m shifting my focus to developing that along with this and a couple of other related projects. Look for my blogs, recipes and videos on www.accidental-locavore.com. I’ve also been writing a monthly column for my friend’s EcoPlum site.
Thanks for your continued support, and I look forward to filling you in on my cooking adventures.
I’m still going to be a member of the Blogging Boomers Carnival, but under the Accidental Locavore blog. Check out this week’s posts.
Tags: exit strategy, It's All About Aging, parents, saying good-bye
Posted in aging, boomers, business | 2 Comments »
September 24th, 2010
The first of October, my husband turns 65. Hard to believe, but as he would say “there you go”. Last week I decided to see how his getting Medicare would affect our health and hospitalization insurance.
First I checked on the Medicare website, to see what was involved, and what was going to be covered. Turns out you have the three months prior to your birthday to sign up, and if you don’t sign up BEFORE your birthday, you risk waiting 1-3 months for eligibility. Who knew? Note to husband, sign up today.
Next a phone call to Blue Cross to see how our hospitalization plan is affected. Heather told me she couldn’t tell, as it was the sales department, and all she could do was sell us another policy. She suggested I call our health insurance company.
Call two, the insurance company. I’m the spouse on the policy, and it turns out that my husband hasn’t authorized me to know about anything on his policy. Note to husband, and other couples with joint policies, make sure your spouse can access your insurance records, you never know when that might be important!
Call three, to the union, to change the address on his policy so that the HIPPA forms won’t get lost. Before that, a quick text to Frank, to make sure I know the new suite number. Union not terribly helpful, but the change of address is in.
Call four, back to Blue Cross customer service. Troy explained to me that we need to receive the eligibility letter from Medicare to see what’s going to be covered. Then, if the hospitalization is covered, I need to send them a letter kicking Frank off the policy.
And none of the four people I spoke to knew the difference between Medicare part A and B, never mind parts C & D. Do you?
For more on this and related fields, or if you just feel the need to vent, make sure you check out this week’s Blogging Boomer’s Carnival, some great topics this week!
Tags: Blue Cross, hospitalization, Insurance, Medicare part A, union
Posted in aging, boomers, health insurance, Insurance, men | No Comments »
September 13th, 2010
Like me you’ve probably thought about Long Term Care Insurance, and maybe you’ve looked into it, or maybe not. The first time I did was about ten years ago. The insurance agent I met with was one of the most dour individuals I have ever come across, and what he had to say was enough to make even the happiest person on earth, reach for the antidepressants or a gun…Not to mention that the insurance that you don’t want to deal with was expensive, and would only cover your entry into a nursing home. Pleasant huh?
Fast forward ten years. One of my goals this spring was to review insurance policies, my will, and health care proxies. I’ve pretty much gone over all the insurance policies, and fine tuned them when possible. What I decided to do was to cancel a disability policy, and turn it into long term care for my husband and myself. He’s going to be 65 this fall, and we wanted to nail the long term care down before it got stupidly expensive. We found an interesting new policy from MetLife that gives you options for your care. You get a lifetime “bucket” of money, the amount you determine, that you can spend on home care, assisted living, etc. If you’re married, you and your spouse get your own “buckets” but if one spouse uses up their “bucket” they can tap into the other spouse’s pot. There are lots of options for dollar amounts as well as inflation riders, etc. It seems about as flexible as an insurance company can get. Donna Desideri and Gail Linn have been really helpful in maneuvering us through the maze.
Be prepared that it’s not an easy or quick process. There are many forms to be filled out, and a 30 minute phone interview to check your physical and mental health. The trickiest part of it came at the end, when you’re asked to remember ten words, use them in a sentence, and repeat them back when requested. Using them in a sentence was easy, but when it came to coughing them up a few minutes later…I got eight out of ten, but for the life of me, couldn’t remember the other two. Here’s where you’re going to laugh, one of the two words I forgot? Husband!
Don’t you forget this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival!
Tags: bucket, health care proxies, home care, long term care insurance, will
Posted in aging, boomers, business, Insurance, will | No Comments »
September 6th, 2010
Do you Google yourself? What about Google Alerts? Since I tend to forget to regularly Google myself, I set up alerts for my business, and myself. This morning there were several alerts for “Anne Maxfield”…all obituaries. Nothing like getting up in the morning, waiting for that first mug of tea, and finding out that someone sharing my name, had just passed away. Curiosity (morbid, and the regular kind), made me check it out.
In the old days, like last year, when someone died, the family wrote a small obit, and paid for the local paper to run it. If you were famous, the paper would write a larger one. I’m sure you know many people who still turn to the obits first, some to see if anyone they know there, others to see if there might be an apartment available…
Now, obits like everything else, are posted on the Internet. You can virtually sign the guest book, and even add photos and videos (think about those Facebook and YouTube postings going strong for eternity). Not to mention, if you’re still looking for an apartment, you can subscribe to get obits e-mailed to you daily. The site even gives you starter text for the guest book, links to florists, and ideas for writing condolence cards. And of course, a Facebook link.
But, let me pay my respects to another Anne Maxfield. From her obituary: Anne was an active community volunteer in her later adult life. For over eight years, she was a volunteer for Carroll County Against Domestic Violence and Rape, where she received training and received an award for her outstanding service. In 1995, the Wakefield Police Department recognized Anne for her outstanding dedication to voluntary service with a certificate of appreciation. Anne was truly an “Angel.” She continued her close relationship with the Wakefield Police Department, deepest thanks to all they did for her.
Check out this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival for answers to can money buy happiness amoung other great topics.
Tags: alerts, Google, obituary, volunteer
Posted in aging, family, funeral, Technology | No Comments »
August 29th, 2010
Most Baby Boomers now need glasses to read almost anything. My big thrill with my e-reader was that I could pump up the type to a place where I didn’t need my glasses. Downside? Only a paragraph per page. Along with diminished eyesight, receding hairlines, and other body parts that always worked better, now we have to worry about declining taste buds. We have about 10,000 taste buds as adults, we lose some, and the ones that remain grow less sensitive (unless your my aunt reacting to spicy food). And more bad news, your sense of smell also diminishes, for some people with sinus issues, as early as age 50.
So what? According to this article in the Miami Herald “ When food becomes less appealing, seniors tend to eat smaller meals or skip them altogether. They begin to lose weight, which can lead to frailty.
“Since it doesn’t happen overnight, it’s not always noticeable at first,” says Dr. Kent Holtorf, who specializes in age-management medicine at The Holtorf Medical Center in San Francisco. “Usually, if they talk about it when they come in, they’ll mention it as a secondary symptom.”
Among the factors that exacerbate the loss of taste perception are smoking, neurological diseases such as Alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s and medications including antibiotics, chemotherapy drugs and some arthritis remedies. Dietary restrictions to deal with hypertension and diabetes further complicate meal prep.”
What to do?
- Add flavor. Using any kinds of herbs and spices will always help even if it’s as simple as a few grinds of pepper. Many spices, like turmeric, ginger, and cinnamon have other holistic healing benefits in addition to adding flavor.
- Lemon or lime juice adds a nice acidic touch, as will flavored vinegars, like balsamic. When you watch chefs at work, they’re always adding something acidic. Try it. I make almost all my salad dressing with lemon juice instead of (or along with) vinegar.
- I personally don’t have issues with salt, but if you do, try a salt substitute like Mrs Dash, or Jane’s Krazy Mixed Up Salt (which does have salt mixed with other seasonings).
- When my aunt isn’t around, a dash of hot sauce or sriracha (if you don’t know about this, check it out, Asian section of the grocery), goes a long way.
- If I’m wearing my locavore hat, fresh, local and seasonal always tastes better that out of season and flavorless.
- Don’t forget that setting a nice table, and plating the food well always helps.
What other ideas do you have to make meals more appetizing?
Check out this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival. Great cat photo for you feline lovers out there.
Tags: Baby Boomers, body parts, diminished eyesight, receding hairline, sense of smell, spicy food, taste buds
Posted in aging, people, seniors | No Comments »
August 20th, 2010
When I first posted the blog about the shingles vaccine, I have to admit I felt dumb that I hadn’t known about it. In the time since then, I realised that I’m not the only one who didn’t know about it, and only 10% of the eligible population (considered to be people over 60) has actually gotten the shot. Why? According to a really interesting article in the NY Times it’s expensive, and not necessarily covered by insurance. My own vaccine was $250, money that I think was well spent, and I don’t know whether the insurance covered any of it. My personal experience with health insurance is that almost nothing is covered, and when it is, it’s an unexpected surprise. But that’s a whole other blog. The people I know who have had shingles all say it was the most painful experience of their lives, and I’m sure would have all coughed up $250 or more to prevent it.
The other issue becomes more of a catch-22; because the vaccine is expensive, and people aren’t getting it, doctors aren’t stocking it, and they’re not recommending it because people don’t want to pay for it, etc… The average cost of treatment for shingles was $525 five years ago, and it takes about 5 weeks to recover from the virus. So wouldn’t you think insurance companies would rather pay the cost of the vaccine, rather than the cost of the treatment? Have you gotten the vaccine? Why or why not?
Don’t forget to check out this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival.
Tags: doctors, health insurance, NY Times, shot, singles vaccine, treatment
Posted in aging, boomers, health, health insurance | No Comments »
August 15th, 2010
Does your family have secret family recipes? Mine does. My mother’s secret recipe is for a raspberry blueberry pie. It’s powers are so strong that years ago an old friend of mine agreed to drive my parents’ cat from their house in Maine, back to Boston, in return for a pie of his own. Now I know you’re thinking that it sounds like a pretty sweet deal, pun intended, but the cat in question was not a good passenger. Not only would he howl for the entire four hour trip, he would manage to do so in between throwing up on whoever or whatever was in the back seat.
My grandmother, on my father’s side, was famous for the caramels she would make every year for Christmas. We couldn’t wait for the package to come from Michigan. There was always a small box with perfectly wrapped caramels full of buttery goodness. My parents would dole out the caramels day by day if we were good, until Christmas when the box usually was finished before dinner.My brother got the recipe from Grandma before she died.
The next time you get together with your family, remember the great recipes that are part of almost all our heritages. What’s your family’s heirloom recipe?
Don’t forget this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival!
Tags: blueberry pie, family, heirloom, parents, pie, raspberry, recipes, secret, secret recipes
Posted in family, legacy, memories, parents | 10 Comments »
July 30th, 2010
A good friend of mine, like a lot of other Boomers, has a lot on her plate. She’s caregiving for her husband and her mother, working, and a long-distance grandma to four grand-kids. Her mom is living alone, not far from my friend, increasingly fragile and needy. She thought she had things worked out; her mother would go to live with her sister in California. That is until it came time for her mother to go to California. Stubborn, and set in her ways, not to mention the home she’s lived in for years, she put her foot down and refused to budge.
It made me wonder, how you start to broach this conversation, and what the signs are that your loved ones shouldn’t be on their own any more. The fact that you can’t cope is certainly a strong signal, but there should be earlier warning signs, and there are.
According to my friends at SeniorHomes.com, there are five signs a loved one might need assisted care:
- Does your family member’s skin feel soft and have a normal color?
- Can your family member see clearly?
- Can your family member hear you?
- Is there food in the refrigerator?
- Are medications current and being taken regularly?
I know what you’re thinking…I can answer these questions but this is not giving me the tools I need to have this conversation. So here goes…AARP has a really good post on starting a conversation. Click here for the link. Jacqui at SeniorHomes.com also gave me these two links for assessing your loved ones needs, and their site has the full answers to the five questions.
“Talking To Your Loved Ones About Their Care” from the American Health Care Association
http://www.longtermcareliving.com/prep/conversation/
“Assessing The Need” from Comfort Keepers. This is a really good assessment guide.
http://www.comfortkeepers.com/sites/default/files/document/assessmentguide.pdf
Thanks to Jacqui and Chris at SeniorHomes.com for their help with this! And be sure to check out this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival. There’s a great post from our hostess. Check it out and comment if you don’t think Boomers are “a bunch of big fat heavy drug users who never exercise and are bad with money”. Doesn’t sound like anyone I know, what about you?
Tags: assessment, assisted-living, home, loved ones, medicatons, questions, starting a conversation, tools, warning signs
Posted in aging, boomers, caregiving, conversation | 3 Comments »
March 9th, 2009
Now I’m not sure if the Do Not Call List covers bill collectors, but if it does, this may be the best reason to make sure you, your family, and loved ones are signed up for it. According to an article in the NY Times last week the most effective debt collections are coming from the newly deceased. Forget about the living, they’re unemployed, angry and broke. They go for an easier target; grieving families who will probably say anything to get the bill collectors off the phone. In most states if there are insufficient funds in the estate, family members are not required to use personal assets to pay the deceased’s individual debts. That doesn’t slow companies like DCM Services who claim to be the only national collection agency exclusively focused on deceased collections.
Are you indignant yet? DCM Services proudly sponsors a website called My Way Forward, “Your guide to loss and recovery”, and they are welcoming NY Times readers to join for free. There’s not a link to the site, it’s my small way of not contributing to their page view rankings.
So here’s my question: if there was no money in the estate, would you pay off the debts of a deceased loved one? Would it depend on what the debts were for?
Tags: assets, death, estate, family, grieving
Posted in aging, goals, grief, legal, seniors, stories | 1 Comment »
March 23rd, 2009
If you got angry reading the earlier post about debt collectors going after easier prey: families of the recently deceased, stop reading now!
According to the most recent AARP Bulletin, now con artists are the ones calling after a family member has passed away. They are demanding payments of up to $700 for the imaginary debts. AARP gives some good pointers on protecting yourself against this scam.
The other issue touched on is the one of identity theft. In their hurry to get the bill collectors off the phone, and settle the outstanding debt, family members may inadvertently give away important personal information.
Do you think the recession brings out this kind of behavior?
Tags: death, estate, family, parents
Posted in grief, legal, parents | No Comments »
April 19th, 2009
How do you want to be taken care of?
If you think it’s selfish to take care of yourself first, remember there’s a reason the airlines always tell you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, and then help others. Or weren’t you paying attention?
Unless you’re in an emergency situation, before you start working on getting your parents, or aging family members lives in order, what about your own?
Do you have the following?
- Will
- Health Care Proxies
- Living Wills
- Durable Power of Attorney
- Funeral Directives
- Cyber: User names and passwords
- Safe Deposit Box
Who knows where these papers and/or the safe deposit box are? Are there copies with lawyers, etc? Do you have a lawyer? Where is their contact information?
Other documents you might want to keep in a central and safe location in case of a different kind of emergency (think Hurricane Katrina) are:
- Insurance Policies (include photos of all valuables with your homeowner’s policy)
- Copies of utility bills (to establish residency)
- Medical Records
- Family Health Profile
- List of Professionals with contact information
- Doctors, Lawyers, Accountants, Insurance Brokers, Financial Advisers, etc.
- Personal: Copies of Drivers Licenses, Passports etc.
- Excel sheet listing your possessions and their distribution
What have we forgotten? Please add anything you think might be missing.
Tags: baby boomer, death, estate, family, parents, power of attorney
Posted in aging, boomers, legal, parents | 1 Comment »
April 6th, 2009
According to the Center for Disease Control, the numbers surrounding dementia are staggering. Worldwide, there are now an estimated 24 million people living with some form of dementia. Sooner or later, we all will deal with parents and loved ones whose health and memories are failing them. As my siblings and I learn to care for my mom who has dementia, here are some of the lessons I have found to be important.
Get the paperwork in order. Now!
My mom used to keep meticulous records. But as her forgetfulness grows, her efficiency diminishes. In order to establish personal management over finances, our family consulted an adviser and reviewed my mom’s budget, assets, insurance policy and pension benefits. This often takes time on the ground with the bank, over the phone with agents or in meetings with accountants, lawyers, etc. It requires patience, but you will be pleased with yourself later should your parent get to a stage where you need to be in more control of matters.
Here some things to keep in mind:
Consider establishing Power of Attorney as well as Medical Power of Attorney.
If you need to register a joint checking account in order to pay bills, begin the process now.
Consolidate any outstanding debt or credit card balances into one payment plan.
Carve out a living will and trust if they are not already in place.
Keep an active list of all the medications and physician records in the case of an emergency.
Ann Mehl, Certified Life and Career Coach, http://www.annmehl.com
Tags: Alzheimers, dementia, estate, family, legacy, Medications, mom, parents, power of attorney, will
Posted in aging, Alzheimers, legacy, legal, parents | 3 Comments »
March 30th, 2009
Living in the Present with Grace and Dementia
My mom suffers from dementia. She’s all mixed up and she knows it. Since my father passed away over four years ago, I’ve watched my mother slip deeper and deeper into a shadowy fog of memory loss. The most difficult part is watching her observe the changes in herself. “I just don’t know what’s happening to me. I used to be so on top of things,” she will often lament.
Growing up, my mother took great pride in her family’s appearance, including her own. Now I need to remind her on a daily basis to bathe or change her clothes. Although deep down you may want the younger version of your mom or dad back, try to accept your loved one and their current limitations. Concentrate on the now.
Every day, I draw gratitude from the simple things. My mom is welcoming and warm. She smiles. She is happy to spend time with her grandchildren. She still recognizes my voice on the phone. I no longer probe for answers, as it simply flusters her when she cannot recall the details. Instead, I am content that she trusts me to handle her personal matters. Mourning the loss of what she used to do – cooking a meal, knitting a sweater, volunteering, calling me on my birthday – only takes away from the small blessings that we still enjoy together.
My mom tires early in the day now and talks incessantly about when we’ll next eat. She repeats herself over and over again, almost to comfort herself with the one or two tales she has not forgotten. She is fixated on making cups of tea and washing her sheets. In this flurry of manic activity, I look at her and see the woman who cleaned and cooked for five growing children; the mom who drove me from mall to mall in the hunt for the perfect prom dress. After 74 years, I might be confused and absent of information too. I try to imagine how she feels at this stage of her life, during the moments when I begin to grow impatient.
Ann Mehl, Certified Life and Career Coach, http://www.annmehl.com
Tags: Alzheimers, family, father, life, mom, parents
Posted in aging, Alzheimers, conversation, parents, stories | 10 Comments »
April 13th, 2009
According to Martin Petroff, the principal of elder law firm Martin Petroff & Associates, most people don’t realize that many caregiving related expenses paid for and by the taxpayer, taxpayer’s spouse, and dependents, can be tax deductible. In a recent article he wrote for the Alzheimer’s Association, and quoted here, Martin lists some of the possibly overlooked deductions. Be sure to check with your accountant to see if they are applicable in your situation.
Some tax deductible expenses that might be incurred by someone with Alzheimer’s Disease, Parkinson’s Disease, ALS, stroke, congestive heart failure, etc. are:
- Home care, attendant care, home-based respite care.
- Nursing homes, assisted-living facilities, group homes, and adult day-care
- Home improvements: Reasonable costs to make home improvements are considered medical expenses if the expense is directly related to medical care
- Psychiatric care
- Health insurance premiums including qualified long term care insurance
- Nursing services not preformed by a nurse such as giving medications, as well as bathing and grooming the patient
- Personal care services including protection from threats to health and safety due to severe cognitive impairment
- Durable medical equipment, supplies, diapers
This is just a partial list, and you should always check with your accountant. Are there other overlooked expenses we should know about?
Tags: accountant, Add new tag, ALS, Alzheimers, assisted-living, deductions, home, Medications, Parkinson's, stroke, taxes
Posted in aging, Alzheimers, legal, seniors, taxes | 2 Comments »
April 27th, 2009
If you’re a golfer, you know all the frustrations inherent with the game. That awful tee shot, the rimmed putt, and then, the shot that brings you back every time (mine was on 13 yesterday), but would you ever think it was therapeutic? And for Alzheimer’s patients? Hardly likely!
Well, a group in California found that Alzheimer’s patients who had previously played the game, retained the muscle memory, and were able to find pleasure, once again, chasing after a dimpled white ball. The article in the Wall Street Journal focused on the pleasure derived from doing “an activity that once brought about true pleasure” and found “the agitation can dissipate, their minds can clear, and memories related to that activity can return.”
So the next time you find yourself cursing over that chunked shot, know that it truly is history, and when your memory fades, it will always be the good shots that bring you back.
Tags: aging, Alzheimers, golf, memories, patients, seniors
Posted in aging, Alzheimers, memories | 2 Comments »
May 4th, 2009
A major concern for many families these days is Diabetes, a genetically passed and potentially life threatening disease impacting 16,000,000 Americans. 25% of these people will experience foot problems associated with the disease.
One of the common conditions associated with Diabetes is Diabetic Neuropathy. Due to poor nerve conduction, Neuropathy causes pain or loss of feeling in the toes, feet, legs, hands, and arms and nearly half of diabetics suffer from some form of neuropathy.
If you’ve been diagnosed with Neuropathy or even if you have poor circulation, the truth is your feet are at serious risk. Shoes provide a warm, moist environment in which bacteria can grow rapidly and if you lack sensitivity in your feet you may not even be aware of a cut, abrasion or blister. And left untreated, that minor injury could quickly progress to an ulceration that could possibly lead to amputation! (Because diabetes affects blood flow, even injuries that have been detected can be slow to heal.)
Diabetic Neuropathy can be prevented if the proper precautions are taken. Feet should be screened regularly, particularly in the elderly in order to alert them and their care givers to any developing problems. Prevention is the best cure, and in accordance Medicare determined that therapeutic footwear and protective insoles were effective in the prevention of foot problems among Diabetic patients.
Therapeutic footwear and protective insoles provide protection that helps reduce callusing which can lead to ulcerations or in worst case scenarios, amputation. The Therapeutic Shoe Bill benefits allow patients one pair of Extra Depth shoes and three pairs of Protective Inserts for every calendar year. This extra level of protection will help keep diabetic patients out of the hospital and off the operating table.
I recommend finding a reputable footwear store such as Foot Solutions, readily available nationwide where feet are analyzed and measured by professionals who can make recommendations for the patient’s individual condition. They can suggest shoes and insoles covered by the Medicare benefits and provide the forms that will be needed for the doctors in order to apply for the benefit.
To qualify, the patient must be diagnosed with diabetes mellitus (ICD-9-CM diagnosis codes 250.00-250.93), and must suffer form one or more of the following conditions: previous amputation of the other foot, or part of either foot, a history of previous foot ulceration of either foot, a history of pre-ulcerative calluses of either foot, peripheral neuropathy with evidence of callus formation of either foot, foot deformity of either foot, or poor circulation in either foot.
The benefit covers up to 80% of the cost, and secondary insurance, often will cover the remainder. If qualified, the shoes and inserts can often be obtained without costing the patient a dime.
-Dr. Bill Faddock is the Director of Pedorthic Education at the Foot Solutions World Headquarters in Marietta, GA.
For any questions about the benefit, feel free to contact Katie Ingraham at kingraham@footsolutions.com, or visit www.FootSolutions.com
Tags: Diabetes, family, Information, life, shoes
Posted in aging, Diabetes, family | 1 Comment »
May 11th, 2009
A few weeks ago there was a deadly accident in New Jersey and five people in their 70′s were killed by a tractor trailer. Originally I was wondering what might have happened if the driver of the car had been younger, and (possibly) had better reflexes. Would they have been able to avoid the truck?
Then, I started thinking about the truck driver. How old was he? Are there age limits for truck drivers?
There are but you’re not going to like this…you have to be at least 21 years old, and pass a medical exam. No upper age limit. Don’t you think this is pretty scary?
The mother of a friend who is “a very brilliant active cool 83 year old” was pulled over a few months ago,
coming home from a friend’s funeral, for swerving and had her license pulled. She had never had an accident, and actually had good driver discounts on her insurance. Mom had to take a driving test which her daughter was afraid she wouldn’t pass, mostly because so much depended on it, and her mother was very nervous. The good news was that Mom did pass the driving test, but is not allowed to drive on any interstates, and must be re-tested every six months.
Mom will be tested 4 times in two years. A commercial truck driver only has to have a medical test once every two years. Mom can’t drive on the interstate, where do you think all the truck drivers are?
Feel safer now?
AARP has a lot of information on safe driving: http://www.aarp.org/family/articles/resources_on_safe.html
Tags: death, driving, Insurance, mom, test
Posted in aging, driving, family | 1 Comment »
May 18th, 2009
Sometimes you stumble upon an offering which truly makes your life easier. I want to share one with you, especially as the story has a positive outcome.
My mom’s dementia causes her to feel afraid to venture far from home. I’ve spoken about her in a previous post: http://www.itsallaboutaging.com/blog/?p=230
In an effort to keep her mind stimulated and her body active, I had been researching services online which provide options for caregiving on a basic level to seniors. My interest was to find a local woman whom I could meet and interview, who would understand my mom’s situation and act as a companion to my mother in my absence.
http://www.craigslist.org/ did not feel trustworthy as a source and a call into the local chapter of http://www.alz.org/ wasn’t returned. Thankfully my sister located a site that provided us with the ease and comfort we were looking for in locating assistance: http://www.care.com.
Care.com provides a place for families and providers to easily connect, share caregiving stories, and get advice. The service enabled us to find and select an individual who had experience and references. My ultimate hope was that my mother would look forward to seeing this woman on a daily basis and a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship will flourish.
We quickly scheduled a date with a woman, “Lisa”, who looked friendly in her online profile, to meet with me, my sister and my mom.
Prior to the visit, Lisa asked us a few questions which I found to be worthwhile, such as:
- Please let me know qualities about your mom which might be helpful to me in getting to know her.
- What nutritional needs does she have?
- What type of music does she enjoy?
- Are there any subjects which I should steer clear of?
- Does she have a list of medications for which I need to be mindful?
- What is your mom’s favorite movie?
- Does she have any trouble sleeping?
- Are there books she tends to read?
- What makes her laugh?
Lisa believed that most of the answers would flow from our interview together but she took the time to be thoughtful about gathering information beforehand. She gave me the feeling that she was interested to get to know the “woman”, (my mother), well beyond the “job”.
After a thorough in-person screening, we felt connected with her as she developed rapport with my mom and showed an understanding of the situation. Lisa also addressed my mom directly during the meeting.
I decided to hire her because her approach reminded me of the motto I had embraced while volunteering for http://www.littlebrothers.org which stated, “Flowers Before Bread”. Little Brothers – Friends of the Elderly as an organization strongly believes that aging adults deserve the special pleasures in life along with the basic necessities. I agree that love and dignity and beauty in life are as basic as physical needs. I wanted for my mom’s caregiver to feel that way too.
We set up the arrangement as a trial basis for 1 month so that both parties could see if it was working. Since we started, it has been a learn-as-you-go experience. Thankfully, my mom has expressed gratitude for the shared lunches that they’ve had, along with the walks in the park. Just as you’d court a partner for life, so are we getting to know our new caregiver. One day at a time.
Ann Mehl, Certified Life and Career Coach, http://www.annmehl.com
Tags: Alzheimers, dementia, mom, seniors
Posted in aging, Alzheimers, boomers, family, goals, legacy, parents, seniors, stories | 1 Comment »
May 25th, 2009
If you’re a certain age, you can be pretty sure that your father was in the service at some point in his life. Mine was in the Army in Japan after WWII. He always wanted to be a paratrooper but was denied in training camp because he didn’t have 20/20 vision. Somehow when they shipped him off to Japan, they let him start jumping out of planes.
One New Year’s Eve in the south of France, I asked him what he remembered about being in Japan. My favorite story is about them going to the movies at a distant base. The base they were at was small and had limited facilities, so there really wasn’t much to do in the evenings. The better base was a four hour drive over terrible roads, so when there was a good movie going on, they would fuel up a plane, fly over to the base, and parachute down in time for the movie.
Now, he swears this is true, but he’s never said how they ever got back to their home base. Isn’t that part of a good story? You can just sit back and accept it, for the tale it is.
On this Memorial Day, why don’t you ask for a story? By telling them and passing them on, we honor our families, and all the people who have and continue to serve this country. If you’d like to share yours, click here for the special section on the website, and thank you for sharing them with us.
Tags: family, father, parents, stories
Posted in aging, conversation, family, stories | No Comments »
June 8th, 2009
This was going to be a totally different topic today, but I thought I’d stray to what’s really on my mind. Because I can, you know.
Last night I filled up the car to come back to the city with giant containers of stuff from Costco, a big bunch of peonies from my garden (probably the last for the season), and the usual stuff that commutes from the city to the country. What was left behind, was my purse, and all its contents. Which, in my total obliviousness, I didn’t notice until I got thirsty, and reached across to pull out my thermos. Hmmm, nothing there. OK, maybe I tossed it in the back with everything else. No way to tell that without pulling over, and I’m really not going to go all the way back for it. Pulled into my garage, and voila, nothing handbag-like in the back. I’m screwed…
So, my challenge for the week is to see what it’s like to pay cash or write checks for everything. To have no Blackberry, cell phone, or Ipod. No credit, or debit cards, no drivers license, MetroCard, train ticket, skating passes. No makeup bag, notebook, or reusable grocery bags.
While I’ll feel badly about picking paper or plastic, and adding to the landfill with plastic water bottles, I’m trying to figure out what I’ll really miss. My bet is between the Blackberry, and my debit card (sorry Amex, but I can go more places with it). What do you think? What would be the hardest thing for you to give up for 5 days?
Tags: Blackberry, handbag, miss, Peonies
Posted in boomers, driving, stories | 10 Comments »
June 22nd, 2009
Over dinner a few weeks ago, my father had an interesting idea. “I’m going to buy your mother an iPod.” My mother looked as though he had totally fallen off the deep end, and said “absolutely not! I won’t hear of it.” This was essentially the same reaction she had to the idea of a DSL or cable modem, which after a two year fight, had changed her life for the better.
His reasoning was sound (pun intended), they had two houses with piles of CD’s in each, and separate stereo set-ups. What if they just downloaded all the music onto the iPod, got rid of all the CD’s, and just carried the iPod from house to house? They could dock it, and use it in the car when they travel. Seems like a plan, right? Wrong. Totally fell on deaf ears. Then we chimed in telling my mother she could download all her favorite June Christy records. Nope.
The thing is, once my mother had the Ipod with all the music on it, she’d be in heaven. She could use it when she walks in the morning, or when she’s weeding her garden. For years she has always slept with a tiny radio and earphone, now she could download radio shows or have her favorite operas lull her to sleep. And if she found out she could watch all the episodes of Fawlty Towers…
So, we’re thinking of smuggling out all the CD’s, loading them up on an iPod, giving it to him for his birthday and let him break it to my mom. Would this be the end of a 56 year marriage? Or like the DSL, the beginning of a whole new adventure? How do your parents feel about technology? And what would you put on their playlist?
Tags: family, father, iPod, mom, parents, Technology
Posted in aging, family, Fathers, parents, Technology | 6 Comments »
June 15th, 2009
What do Dads really want for Father’s Day? How about great socks and shoes?
Socks and shoes? You’re thinking that’s as bad as a tie, aren’t you? What if I told you it would help him score on the golf course? Think about it, Dad is spending the better part of 4 hours on his feet, and if he walks the course, it’s no surprise when he comes home and complains of sore, tired feet. Keeping his feet healthy and happy may improve his performance, help him outlast the others and keep him energized. Correct footwear and arch support can help to improve his game and confidence by providing the right foundation for improved balance and core stability. When your foot isn’t properly supported, there’s a breakdown in the kinetic chain of force, which causes poor contact with the golf ball. In athletics, there is a greater importance on balance, support, performance and endurance of your feet. You can improve your game by combining the right shoe insert, socks and properly fitted shoes for every sport from golf to skiing to running.
Not to mentions, what’s one of the most common golf injuries? Back Pain. A golf swing can put great stress on your back; causing major discomfort during the game (isn’t that what we like to blame our score on?). In fact, studies show that 80% of adults in America will experience low back pain at some point in their lives. Is back pain related to my feet? In many cases, yes. Your feet are the foundation for every step you take. They play a key role in absorbing the shock that you place on your body every day. Is your back pain worse in different shoes? If so, this may be an indication that your feet are contributing to your back pain.
So now when you give dad a day of hassle-free (by that, we mean nag-free) golf, he can enjoy it without sore feet, or a backache, and who knows, he may take his foursome for the big bucks this weekend.
My thanks to Katie Ingram of Foot Solutions for help with this. Check out their site for all the game-improving socks, shoes and insoles.
Tags: Add new tag, father, feet, golf, health, shoes
Posted in aging, Fathers, golf | 3 Comments »
June 29th, 2009
Michelle, one of the amazing Sassy Ladies, was tweeting the other day about the amazing amount of toxic, flammable stuff she found in her father’s garage while “seeking paint stirrer. Found cans of bee spray, gopher poison, acetone, grill propane. maybe 7/4 bonfire s/b elsewhere?”
Which got me to thinking, if we’re hanging around with the family, maybe a clean-up of the garage would be a good weekend group project. How long has it been since you’ve seen the back of the garage? Have you ever seen the back of the garage? When was the last major clean up? Our garage is pretty clean, but still I know we’ve got ancient cans of paint that probably haven’t survived unheated winters, weed killer, car cleaner, lamp oil. You get the picture, lots of toxic stuff that could launch your own pyro…
Sonya Weisshappel of Seriatim says everyone has a stash, whether it’s the garage, laundry room, attic, the trunk of your car, or all of the above. Time to ‘fess up, where’s yours? In memory of Billy Mays, grab that ShamWow, the Kaboom! and declare independence from a garage full of useless flammable stuff.
For information on proper disposal of old paint, Planet Green has some good ideas.
Tags: Bill Mays, family, garage, holidays, July 4th
Posted in cleaning, family | 6 Comments »
July 6th, 2009
Maybe you can sleep thorough the night each and every night (if so, I envy you), but most of us have issues either falling asleep, or staying asleep. Valerie Bennis, Founder & President of Essence of Vali has some good tips for all of us.
A good night’s rest is the foundation of health and well being. More and more evidence points to lack of sleep as a contributor to declining physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. Along with good eating habits, happy and healthy relationships, work we enjoy and exercise goes a good night’s rest as an imperative ingredient in our health regime.
Some people fall asleep easily and then wake up at 3 in the morning while others take many hours to fall asleep. These are the two common patterns. Anything less than 7 hours of sleep is considered not enough. Even those of us who are good sleepers may not be getting enough rest.
Most of these difficulties are due to stress and also due to some of the foods we eat. So, what can we do to cut down on stress levels and what are foods we should avoid to safeguard our sleep health? Here are some tips:
Substances to Avoid
Coffee, Soda and Alcohol: These are substances that affect our energy in some way – be it stimulating or sedative. Try drinking water and herbal teas which contribute to your well being and create balance in your body, mind and spirit, rather than a roller coaster effect.
Sugar: The impact of sugar is a spike in energy and then “fall down” and a vicious cycle of “up” and “down”. There are many healthy treats that you can find in the health food store that can satisfy your sweet tooth without causing damage.
Nicotine: This one goes without saying.
Stress: This is under “substance” because it has become a metaphorical substance in all of our lives. It is a common refrain – “I am so stressed out” that we all speak and hear and that in and of itself is stressful.
How do we eliminate the toxin of stress? We can empower ourselves to significantly decrease its impact on our lives by doing things that ease stress levels. See below for some stress busters.
1. Restorative yoga (gentle yoga)
2. Exercise
3. Dancing
4. Listening to music
5. Talking to someone really positive
6. Writing in a journal
7. Taking a bath
8. Positive affirmations
9. Drinking herbal tea, such as chamomile
10. Rescue Remedy or other bach flower essences
11. Aromatherapy
12. Getting a massage or self massage
13. Helping a friend or stranger
14. Acupuncture
Once your body is in a healthier state, your sleep patterns will improve naturally.
Other ideas for improving sleep.
1. Keep a regular schedule in terms of when you go to sleep and when you wake up.
2. Do not eat a heavy meal before bedtime.
3. Keep sound and light out of your bedroom as much as possible.
4. Take a relaxing bath prior to getting into bed.
5. Use natural products instead of prescription medication or over the counter products.
6. Do some breathing exercises and listen to relaxation tapes
7. Do not listen to the news before bed
These are some good ideas from Valerie. What she left out, is her amazing aromatherapy sleep blend, her best seller for nine years. Have you tried it? What works for you?
Valerie Bennis
Founder & President, Essence of Vali
www.essenceofvali.com
Tel: 212-242-0576
Tags: sleep, stress, tips
Posted in boomers, sleep, tips | 1 Comment »
July 13th, 2009
A friend of mine recently asked for some advice on talking to her grandmother about sex. Why, you wonder, would someone need to have that conversation with her grandmother? With the advent of drugs like Viagra, sex in nursing homes and assisted living facilities, is on the rise, most of it unprotected. Because of the rise in unprotected sex, there is a rise in STD’s among the elderly.
Older people have plenty of intercourse when they’re not in an institutional setting. A survey published August 2007, in the New England Journal of Medicine found that a quarter of those between the ages of 75 and 85 were having sex, and many were doing it at least once every couple of weeks. A third of these sexually active respondents said they had either given or received oral sex in the past year.
There’s no reason to think that nursing-home residents would be any less frisky, if left to their own devices. After all, we’re talking about a mixed-sex population living in close quarters with almost endless amounts of free time. Already, staffers routinely field patient requests for personal lubricants, pornographic magazines, larger-size beds, and prescriptions for Viagra. And that’s with the 1.6 million elderly residents who came of age before the sexual revolution. Within a few decades, nursing homes will be replete with the desires and expectations of almost 7 million liberated baby boomers.
And according to an August 2007 in the Washington Post: “Individuals who remain sexually active gain the benefit of the physical exercise that comes with sex. It’s also possible the hormones — the endorphins released by orgasms — give a general sense of well-being that could be beneficial. The psychological benefits of being loved and cared for may also trickle over to physical health.”
But how do you quietly slip Grandma a pack of condoms? Does anyone make them in large type, easy open? If you’ve got any good ideas, my friend would be really grateful.
Tags: aging, Grandma, seniors, sex
Posted in aging, conversation, seniors | No Comments »
July 20th, 2009
Seniors using their canes as weapons, a concept to make you smile, right? An article recently in the Wall Street Journal was all about “Cane Fu” and it turns out to be a great form of exercise as well as self defense. Senors are flocking to classes at senior centers and retirement communities, and Mark Shuey has developed Cane Masters to train them. While there’s always the danger that anything you use as a weapon can be taken and used against you, the element of surprise, is probably in a seniors favor.
Not surprisingly, if you do a search for Cane Fu, there’s a ton of information on the Internet, ranging from the very serious and scary, to the highly amusing. As much as I generally dislike, the Colbert Report, this recent video on Cane Fu, is pretty hilarious.
According to the Huffington Post, “it isn’t an entirely new use for the cane. In ancient Rome and Egypt, canes were used as weapons. In the 13th century, swinging a cane before a member of royalty would assure your beheading. In the 17th century, canes required a permit.
“Things changed 200 or 300 years ago. You don’t want to take a cane to a gunfight, so the cane became a crutch and it’s been visualized as that for the last couple hundred years,” Shuey said. “Today when you carry a cane, they think you’re a gimp.”
So what do you think? Time to drop Pilates for Cane Fu?
Tags: cane, exercise, self defense, seniors
Posted in seniors | 1 Comment »
July 27th, 2009
Many more people are creating their own funerals at home, without the help or interference of a funeral parlor. They are even building coffins for the eventuality, that double as coffee tables, or bookcases until needed. According to a front page article in the New York Times, “Advocates say the number of home funerals, where everything from caring for the dead to the visiting hours to the building of the coffin is done at home, has soared in the last five years, putting the funerals “where home births were 30 years ago,” according to Chuck Lakin, a home funeral proponent and coffin builder in Waterville, Me.”
If you think about it, until fairly recently, this was how people buried their loved ones. It’s just been in the past hundred years or so that funeral homes came into being and the funeral industry became the $11 billion behemoth it currently is. But home burials require advance planning, and most people are loathe to bring up the subject. You also need a piece of land, as Central Park (suggested by a Times reader) won’t do, and New York is one of the few states where DIY is illegal. Now the interesting paradox is that you can bury any animal in your backyard, as I found out this week, when a friend of mine had to bury a horse.
As much as we could have a lot of fun with this, it’s not really dealing with the issue. Is there someone who knows what your wishes are or those of your family? Have you looked into alternatives; cremation (and no, you can not do that at home), donating the organs, or body to science? Here’s a link to a pretty good funeral directive, but you should check that it’s applicable in your state. And as crazy as it sounds, try writing your own obituary. It’s actually a very interesting and moving experience figuring out how you want to be remembered.
Tags: directive, estate, family, funeral
Posted in directives, family, funeral | 2 Comments »
August 3rd, 2009
Americans no longer live in close proximity to their family members. Even though the recession has brought more families closer together physically, it’s not a strategy one can count on for the foreseeable future. You never know when you’re going to be pulled out of your comfortable existence and thrust into a family emergency.
In his book, “My Mother, Your Mother”, Dr. Dennis McCullough suggests creating a “Circle of Concern”. He suggests that the circle contains friends, neighbors, doctors, family members, people you can call on in case there’s a problem. This is especially important, if you’re not living nearby, or if someone is living on their own. Try to do this before there’s a crisis, that way your family member can give you input. There may be church members, friends from book club, or a neighbor that they’ve become friendly with that you haven’t heard of yet.
With the help of your family members, start a list; names, relationships, phone numbers, and e-mail addresses are important. Don’t forget to include what each member can bring to the table in case there’s a crisis. Maybe they can pick up a prescription, grab a loaf of bread, or just spread the word with family and friends. Don’t overlook the power of the Internet. There are sites like Carepages where you can set up blogs or websites to keep people updated. When my friend was extremely sick a few years ago, I used Outlook to set up a group e-mail list, so I could just send out quick updates. What’s worked for you?
Tags: Add new tag, crisis, emergency, family, friends, list
Posted in crisis, family, lists | 2 Comments »
August 10th, 2009
It used to be a secret summer pleasure, speeding up Madison Avenue, getting all the lights, sitting in the back seat of a cab with the windows down, in the early warmth of a summer night. Fuhghettaboutit! Now it’s usually interrupted by the incessant noise of an endless cell phone rant. You’re probably wondering what a blog about taxis has to do with aging…honestly not much, but if cab drivers keep talking on their cell phones when driving…
A recent article in the New York Times talked about the dangers of taxi drivers talking on cell phones, and how rarely the laws against it are enforced. This is one of my pet peeves about riding in taxis and I guess I’m not the only one; The Times stopped the comments at 213. Too often the entire trip the driver is shouting into his headset. I’ve asked drivers to stop, and most times when you point out that it’s illegal, they do. Occasionally you get someone like the driver who told me it was an emergency. Well if it’s an emergency, then pull over, drop me off, and continue the conversation on the side of the road. When I insisted that he either drop me off, or stop talking, he finally ended the conversation, but it shouldn’t be a battle.
My friends who do the Lester & Charlie series have an interesting take on the whole taxi drive cell phone issue…they’re all tech support people for computer companies. You can view the video Lester & Charlie Taxi Driver. After you get through laughing, what’s your take on taxis & cell phones?
Tags: aging, cell phone, driving, Taxi
Posted in aging, boomers, driving, Taxi | 2 Comments »
September 7th, 2009
Probably not equipped with GPS
What would you think if your shoes had a GPS built into them? Not that it’s going to be a big part of Prada’s next line, but hey, with Miuccia Prada and technology, one never knows. In a city like New York, it would be interesting to see where you’d been, and how many miles you schlep during the course of a day. Have any of you ever kept track?
Not long ago we talked about a Lojack device for seniors. The problem was that it made the wearer look like Bernie Madoff waiting for sentencing. Now GTX Corp and Aetrex Worldwide are coming out with a shoe that has a built in GPS system. This is from the Washington Post:
“The major advantage of the shoe, said Carle, who’s also a GTX adviser, “is that we’re hiding the . . . technology.” The idea is that a person with dementia might have bouts of paranoia but would be unlikely to remember there’s a tracking device in his shoe and try to rip it out. Also, Carle said, because people with dementia often retain their habitual memory, they’ll be likely to put on their shoes before going out.”
Good to know, in the future, I’ll still be putting on my Pradas one shoe at a time…
Tags: Alzheimers, dementia, GPS, memory, Prada, shoes, wandering
Posted in aging, Alzheimers, seniors, Technology | No Comments »
August 17th, 2009
This was going to be a more upbeat blog this week, but I’m so angry about the way the health insurance reform proposal has been trashed, that it’s time for my two cents. First of all how many of you that have health insurance are happy with it? Not satisfied; happy. If you’re old enough to remember Woodstock, you’re old enough to remember when health insurance covered all doctors, and every procedure. Under managed care, none of my regular doctors are covered, so not only am I shelling out for insurance, then there are the doctors bills on top of that. So what exactly am I paying thousands of dollars a year for? We all know health insurance in this country is expensive, and unsustainable. Why can’t people stop shouting, and take a reasoned look at what’s being proposed?
The extent to which certain people have gone to to “misinterpret” the bill the House passed, is really disgusting. Is there anyone out there who hasn’t given thought to what they would want if confronted with a life ending disease/condition? Haven’t we all said at sometime to someone we care about, “Just put a gun to my head”? If only they could…And now, we are being given the option, under Medicare to have regular conversations with our doctors, about how we would like to exit this world. What could possibly be wrong with that? Dr. McCullough in his well reasoned book “My Mother, Your Mother” speaks to the importance of advance directives, and the need for their constant updating as situations change. The other critical need is that all family members are aware of what the advance directives contain and the documents must be readily available in case of an emergency.
The best way stop giving credence to the whack jobs and insurance lobby’s? Go online and download the advance directives for your state(s), fill them out, make copies, and let the people in your life who love you, know what’s in them and where they are.
Tags: death, doctors, family, health, Insurance, reform
Posted in aging, directives, health insurance, love, people | 3 Comments »
August 24th, 2009
Have you ever gotten a letter from an insurance agent to come in and review your policy? You’ve never done it right
? My friend and insurance agent, David, used to send them out, and one night over dinner, when I complained about the lack of personalization on these letters, he asked if it would make a difference. “No one” he said, “ever comes in to review their policies.” He then went on to tell me about someone who was under-insured and trying to collect on a claim, unsuccessfully.
“That’s the problem, I said, “we’re all afraid that if we put in a claim it won’t be paid, and then the insurance company will bounce our coverage.” Like many others, I was afraid a review of my coverage would just end up costing my hundreds of dollars more. Recently, my policies were reviewed by a different agency, and yes, it was going to cost hundreds of dollars more. We have never put in a claim for either of the homes we own, or the cars we drive, my credit score is excellent. So then we must be really upgrading our coverage, right? Wrong. My husband likes to drive fast, really fast. Five years ago, he got a speeding ticket, a big one, and now, no one wants to insure us for anything.
This is what’s wrong with the insurance system in this country, and especially the health insurance (although home-owners probably comes in a close second). If you use it, you get punished. If you need it, you can’t collect on it. Four years later, look at the victims of Katrina, how many of them have actually collected? If you collect on it, your policy gets canceled, and you pay even more, for even less. When did this become acceptable? The debate about health insurance continues, but the truth of it is, we need an insurance system that works. For everyone, always.
One thing that you can do, the next rainy day, start making a list with photos or videos of your house, and all your valuables. If you have receipts, make them a part of the package. Make several copies, and keep them in safe, accessible places, just in case.
Tags: health, homeowner, Hurricane, husband, Insurance, Katrina
Posted in crisis, family, health insurance, Insurance, people | 3 Comments »
August 31st, 2009
An interesting study from the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center on healthfinder.gov finds that end of life advice from doctors is not always welcome. The study says most families base their decisions on what they believe the patient would have wanted. It was assumed that a doctor’s opinion would help relieve (or share) the guilt of allowing someone to die. In the study, after seeing videos where the doctors did, and did not offer end of life advice, 42% of the surrogates said that they preferred the video where the doctor did not offer advice.
If you were making these decisions for an aging parent, would you want the doctor’s input? Or would you be left to figure out what the patient would want? Or, better still, how about starting a conversation now, so doctor or no, you do make an informed decision?
Here’s an exert from a great piece from the Family Caregiving Alliance on how to begin: Begin simply with yourself. Try to confront and understand any fears you might have: do they relate to the possibility of pain? Loss of dignity while undergoing treatment? Not being clearly understood by those around you? Being alone? Being overly-sedated or in a lingering state of unconsciousness? Leaving loved ones or unfinished projects behind? Leaving your loved ones without adequate financial resources? Dying in a strange place? Once you know that you want to explore these topics and make some plans, most experts suggest that you begin by talking. Talk openly to family and friends about your values and beliefs, your hopes and fears about the end stage of your life and theirs.
Tags: aging, doctor, family, parents, talk
Posted in aging, conversation, family, parents | No Comments »
September 14th, 2009
Next week is Active Aging Week, and how many of you have heard of Nordic or Balance Walking? No, it’s not what they do in Scandinavia to cross the street, nor does it require snow or freezing cold temperatures. It was originally started by cross country skiers who wanted a way to workout in the off-season. It’s a form of walking with two poles, that to the rest of us look suspiciously like ski poles (that’s where the Nordic part comes in, get it?). Now, as with most exercises designed to get you to buy new equipment, you can’t just go into your garage and dust off whatever ski poles you haven’t used since the last century. What you need is a pair of walking/running shoes, something with a rocker bottom (think bottom of a rocking chair), and a set of poles. A good source for both is the Foot Solutions website. And here’s a good introduction to the technique.
You always hear that exercise is essential for all of us, and the more we are active as we get older, we stay flexible, and live longer, healthier lives. What are the advantages of Balance Walking? Because you are actively using your arms, you burn 40% more calories. They say if you do it right, you can actually burn as many calories as running, without all the wear and tear on your knees from the impact. You also strengthen upper body and core muscles and improve posture. Think arms like Michelle Obama without all those tricep kickbacks…
Even though my mother is a great walker, I worry about her balance, and with good reason. Each week, more than 30,000 Americans over the age of 65 are seriously injured by falling, and nearly 250 die from their injuries according to the National Safety Council. Getting her started Balance Walking would be a great thing. No more worries about uneven sidewalks in the city, icy winter weather, or uneven terrain in the country. A few other advantages for the Greatest Generation? Well it’s not exactly Cane Fu Fighting, but you see where I’m going with this, don’t you? Watch out aggressive bikers! And although you can certainly do it on your own, signing up with a group gives you social, mental and physical benefits. There are even Nordic Walking marathons for the truly committed among you. So, let go celebrate Active Aging Week! Are you up for it? I’ll see you in Central Park!
Tags: active, aging, exercise, shoes, walking
Posted in aging, exercise, walking | 4 Comments »
September 21st, 2009
Ann Mehl with her mom
Ann Mehl a life coach and marathon runner has written eloquently for us before. Now she answers 10 questions about her experiences taking care of her mother.
1. How did it start?
My mother’s dementia showed itself gradually over time. Her memory loss and mental confusion escalated after my father passed five years ago.
2. Did you feel prepared for dealing with everything? Why or why not?
I did not feel prepared to handle all of the matters related to my mom’s paperwork and financial situation as she was equipped to address most issues personally prior to this. She was able to drive herself to doctor’s appointments, grocery shop, cook, clean her house, manage her bills and tend to her banking. Now she can’t do any of this. My mom became fearful to do most anything outside of the house due to her confusion, so this meant that she needed help with many personal and household tasks which I hadn’t anticipated managing on a regular basis as I do presently.
3. What did you find the most difficult/frustrating part?
My mom is physically in good shape but her mind plays tricks on her and it restricts her from living a full life. In addition, she sees what is happening to her and I find it incredibly frustrating that there isn’t much that we can do to help, beyond the attention that we give her as a family. She is able to observe her gradual decline and I find it difficult to see her struggle with the handicap when she is trying so hard to remain upbeat and positive. She used to knit and sew, as an example but now has a hard time figuring out her machine or remembering how to follow a pattern. I feel as though she doesn’t deserve this infliction as she is young at heart and has always been so unselfish with her time and love for others.
4. What surprised you most? If you knew then, what you know now, what would you have done differently?
I might have tried to recruit a support network of women who live locally who might visit my mom on a regular basis just for social stimulation and company if I had known how isolating dementia can be. Otherwise, I have no regrets in terms of how I am handling her and her situation as I am present on a daily basis and managing her needs.
5. How active/passive has your parent been?
My mom is a passive, sensitive woman who is shy and frightened by many things so she does not try to actively go beyond her comfort zone. She does not leave the house by herself or explore the limits to her condition without encouragement or another individual present.
6. How has the process improved your relationship with your parents or has it deteriorated?
I have expressed my love and care for my mom to her directly on a deep level regularly due to this change as I want for her to know that she is not alone as she tries to deal with this stage of her life. I was always close with my mom but I have dedicated even more time and attention to her in the midst of her crisis.
7. What makes you the most stressed?
I don’t know what lies ahead and I’d love to be certain of what will happen next, even though I know that the answers will come in due time. I find it challenging to take it one day at a time as I worry about how I will manage caring for my mom full-time while handling my own life and business.
8. What advice would you give someone?
1. Reach out and ask for help when you need it. Let all of your emotions out, especially when you are feeling sad and angry about the state of affairs with your aging parents as it is more healthy to let it up, then to bottle it all in. Feel the feelings.
2. Practice self-care in the midst of watching after your elders.
3. Remember to breathe when you are feeling extremely stressed or out of control.
4. Stay in the moment with whatever is happening. Avoid trying to get ahead of a situation or expecting a different reality than what is the truth.
5. Meet your aging elders where they are, rather than where you wish they’d be.
9. What was your ah-ha moment, the moment when it was all ok?
Seeing my mom enjoy a moment with me or smile after spending the day together helps to release the pressure valve. It gives me a chance to see that simply being there for her is enough, even if I can’t make everything better or different. It isn’t all o.k. but it is enough, that we are both trying our best, and I can be at peace with that.
10. What have you learned from this?
I have learned that there is nothing that I can’t handle and I have more grace and patience than I realized. I have also learned that in the midst of the struggle, there is learning and that I have a lot to give in terms of understanding and information for others, due to this experience.
Tags: Alzheimers, dementia, experience, family, love, mom, planning
Posted in aging, Alzheimers, conversation, family, love | 1 Comment »
September 28th, 2009
Shades of Jurassic Park…
Which is the key to your DNA?
There’s a new service that allows you to save your DNA in a Swiss vault along with all your memories. It’s the Swiss DNA Bank, and it allows you to “Preserve yourself in Switzerland, the world’s safest place to be. Forever”. The premise is that you’re doing future generations a favor. This is from the site:
- Preserve a fresh memory of you after life. Your loved ones will never forget about you.
- Don’t waste your experiences, good or bad, but rather pass them on to help build a better world.
- You never know what science will be able to do with your DNA in the future.
Here’s the cynic’s take on this: haven’t you always wondered what it’s like for the families of famous people, like say, Jerry Orbach, to see their dearly departed re-run on TNT’s Law & Order, all night long? On the plus side, there are residuals, but what’s it like to be immortal on film? Do you want to be able to pull up the dead on the Internet ? Facebook resurrection pages?
And shouldn’t you pass your experiences on, good or bad, while you’re still here? What good is it sitting in a Swiss vault, gathering dust (do they have dust in Switzerland?)? Unlike wine, does experience get better with age? Is a gigabyte enough or do you upgrade to 4GB (the size of my iPod nano) for an additional $299?
Finally, for those of you who don’t remember Jurassic Park, they recreated dinosaurs from the DNA in a mosquito preserved in amber, and it didn’t turn out well. According to Wikipedia: “Often considered a cautionary tale on unconsidered biological tinkering in the same spirit as Mary Shelley‘s Frankenstein…”
While it’s interesting to think about being recreated and coming back sometime in the future, what do you come back as? Yourself at the age you parked the DNA? A clone? An infant (who would raise you)? Some nasty warrior thing wrecking havoc on planet Earth? OK, so I’ve seen one too many bad disaster films.
Seriously though, would you spend $399 to park yourself in a Swiss vault?
Tags: bank, DNA, life, memories, Swiss, vault
Posted in aging, family, legacy, memories, people | No Comments »
October 5th, 2009
Last week, a conversation with Sabina Ptacin, genius PR maven at Collective-e, and her own company Red Branch Public Relations, turned to the subject, as it so often does, of finding men in New York. She was telling me about someone she knew who was convinced that it was impossible to find love in New York once you’re “over the hill”. “I met my husband when I was in my 40′s” I said, “on the Internet”. After a dead silence on the other end of the phone, Sabina said it would be a great blog, so here goes.
About a dozen years ago, I was home recovering from some surgery, bored to death with daytime TV, and I decided to surf the net for personals. On a site, possibly webpersonals, was a picture of a man that really appealed to me. His
Does this look like an Internet serial killer to you?
profile had the top ten things he was looking for in a woman (something he got a lot of grief about), and a bonus question…you had to like France and the French. Well, I won a scholarship to the Chamber Syndicale de la Haute Couture, and lived in Paris for a year after college, so that one was easy. The rest were along the lines of you have to be smart, politically aware, like sex, and be tall. According to Frank, my husband, my best answer was to the tall question. “I’m 5’4″ but I have an extensive collection of 3″ heels, and I love tall men.
We e-mailed for about a month, and one day he sent me an e-mail that said “My friends say I’m working too hard, and turning into a dull guy. Do you have any advice?”. I screwed up all my courage, and typed back “why don’t you take a good looking blond out and buy her a drink?”. We met later that week, and hit it off completely. I would have invited him back to my place, but my brother was convinced he was an Internet serial killer (something he completely denies now), so that waited until the next date. We got married a year later, in a surprise wedding, and have lived happily ever after for 11 years now. Let me know if you’d like to know how to throw a surprise wedding, and I’ll put it in another blog.
Oh, and the weird part, although he says his picture was on the site for a long time, as one of their success stories, I could never find it again…ever.
Tags: blog, dating, husband, Internet, love, men
Posted in love, memories, people | 6 Comments »
October 12th, 2009
Do you want this to be your legacy?
While it’s safe to say that no members of the Astor family will be taking away the Nobel Peace Prize (and congrats to President Obama) that’s not to say that we all haven’t been following the drama as it unfolds. Most of us are not in that financial stratosphere (and if you are, how about investing in this site?) but there are important lessons to be learned even if your estate consists of a minuscule savings account.
First, have a will. Surprisingly, in the survey we ran last month, of over 160 respondents, over a third of them didn’t have a will. The oldest group (70+), two out of three people did have a will, the third person hadn’t even started thinking of it. What are you waiting for? A free-for-all with your relatives and friends? A six month trial with endless appeals? In the age group 56-70 the majority had wills, but the numbers dropped significantly in the group 41-55 with only 54.7% having a will. This is a group that has children, but almost 25% of them didn’t have a will.
Even if you draft a basic document from one of the legal websites, like Legalzoom or go to Amazon.com for the Suze Orman’s Will & Trust Kit, it’s better than nothing at all, and no matter how much you may deny it, the thought of ________ getting their hands on your __________ should send you running to the lawyer.
Second, communicate with the people you care about. And communicate early. The more people who know what your wishes are, the less chance that your favorite Childe Hassam painting won’t disappear from over the sofa. Some people use the 40/70 rule for starting the conversation (meaning that when someone is either 40 or 70 start talking) but if you have children of any age, your estate should be in order to protect your children. And why would you want to make your passing any more painful for them by dying intestate (without a will)? On the CBS Moneywatch site there’s a great list of 12 tough questions to ask your parents, and don’t feel you have to limit it to your parents. You might want to go through the list yourself and make sure you have all these bases covered. That’s what I did before I approached my parents.
I’ve learned from having these conversations with my parents that it’s REALLY tough to break the ice, but once it’s broken, you’ll be surprised at how easy it is to work on this, one step at a time. And isn’t a good night’s sleep, knowing everything is taken care of, better than the nightmare of endless legal wrangling? Let me know how you’ve done. The next time we do a survey, I want 99% to have a will, ok?
Tags: conversations, estate, family, legacy, power of attorney, will
Posted in aging, conversation, family, legacy, legal, memories, parents, will | 2 Comments »
October 19th, 2009
Every week, my husband and I take a 90 minute drive to our country house. It’s turned out to be a really good way to catch up on what’s happened during the week, toss ideas around, and have serious conversations. Since I’ve been working on the website, I’ve become very involved in getting people to plan for their parents’ futures, by planning for their own. One of the serious conversations we had recently was about end of life wishes, and it’s good to know that we’re both clear on what the other wants. 
The importance of this came home this past week, here’s the story:
If you’re in love enough to say “I do” why can’t you say “I don’t”?
We talk to our spouses and loved ones about so much, but often neglect the most important conversation. The one about what your end of life wishes are. Life support? DNR? Organ donation? A friend of mine lost her husband to pancreatic cancer Sunday. What makes this even sadder is while he had a will, and had provided for his wife of twenty years, they had never had “the Conversation”.
About 2:00 in the morning, she heard him gasping for breathe and called 911. Paramedics put him on life support and when they found out he had neither a health care proxy or living will, insisted she call a friend to meet her at the hospital. Tests were run to determine if he was brain dead, and in a state of shock, she alone had to make critical decisions. He was pronounced brain dead, she made the decision to pull the plug, and he passed about an hour later.
Please, if you love someone, talk to them. Here’s a link to Five Wishes, a health care proxy to get you started. It’s not easy, but it’s a lot easier than having to make life or death decisions, all alone in a cold emergency room at 3:00 in the morning.
Tags: driving, family, health, Information, parents, talk
Posted in aging, boomers, conversation, crisis, driving, family, parents, people, will | No Comments »
November 30th, 2009
Remember reverse mortgages? Next up, reverse life insurance, or life settlements. Life settlements refers to the sale of a life insurance policy by its owner to an investor who will collect the death benefit. From the same group that took reasonable mortgages, and packaged them as investment vehicles, we now have insurance settlements, and the same “packaging” that brought down Wall Street, may strike again. Check out this video from a recent Good Morning America.
The next financial crisis?
So, how does this work?
Life settlements should be considered by anyone who has a life insurance policy that is no longer needed or wanted, or where the burden of premium payment has become too great. For example; a person who bought a policy while they had young children who are now grown up, or a policy purchased by an older person with relatively high premiums that they can no longer afford. There are many investors who purchase life settlements, as well as many brokers who arrange for sales. While the most desirable policies from an investor standpoint are Universal Life Policies, other types of policies, such as term policies, can be sold. These differ from “Viatical” settlements, which are the purchase of a policy from someone who is terminally ill at an unfair price. This practice is highly regulated and can be prohibited in many circumstances.
If you think a life settlement might be for you, proceed with caution. Please make sure you have a trusted lawyer, or reputable financial advisor to guide you. As with so many things connected with seniors and money, there are any number of scams connected with life settlements. One of the most common, involves someone asking you to buy a life insurance policy and offering to pay the premiums in exchange for that person splitting profits from the sale of the life settlement with you. These practices are highly questionable from a regulatory standpoint and subject to challenge by insurers.
My thanks to Darren L. Ofsink of Guzov Ofsink, LLC for his expertise in this field, and especially his patience in making this understandable to me, and I hope, all of you.
Tags: death, Insurance, lawyer, life, scam
Posted in Insurance, legal, seniors | No Comments »
October 26th, 2009
If you thought you had issues with your parents and driving, just imagine getting this call…
Does this look like your father's lounger?
A 61 year old man in Minnesota pleaded guilty Monday to DWI. Dennis LeRoy Anderson was sentenced to two years probation. He was busted last summer when he drove his motorized recliner into a parked car at the local watering hole. Yes, really.
According to the Star Tribune: Deputy Police Chief Troy Foucault said Thursday that the chair is “quite decked out.” Along with the stereo and cup holders, it is driven by a converted gasoline-powered lawnmower, and has a steering wheel, headlights and a power antenna. Foucault estimated that the La-Z-Boy can top out at 15 to 20 miles per hour. A National Hot Rod Association sticker adorns the headrest. The chair was impounded and will be sold at the next police auction, or according to the BBC, on e-Bay.
Wreckreaction Nation anyone?
Tags: driving, father, parents, stories
Posted in driving, family, Fathers | 2 Comments »
November 2nd, 2009
Earlier this week, I got an e-mail from Facebook; a friend had sent me a message. And the message? That the mother of an old friend “…passed away yesterday. I thought you would want to know. XO”
Does this look like an addict?
Yes, I’d like to know, thank you, because both of this friend’s parents were pretty amazing people, and I will miss them. Maybe this is old fashioned, but shouldn’t news like that at least merit a direct e-mail? This is my oldest friend, dating back to high school. We’ve been at college together, worked and partied in Hong Kong at the same time, and stayed friends for more than 35 years. But now he’s addicted to Facebook.
Seriously. No one in our circle of friends, family and acquaintances, can contact this person through regular e-mail, it all has to go through Facebook. When I was home last spring, my cousin startled me by asking “So when are you getting together for coffee with W?” I must have given him that deer-in-headlights, Sarah Pallin look, because he said, “Saw it on Facebook”.
My mother is part of the generation that believes you are only in the paper when you’re born, married, and dead. As a self proclaimed media slut, I’ve fallen far from that, but still I think there should be some space between your private life, and that which is posted on the Internet.
In the interest of planning for the future, I want the following known: when I die, please no posting on Facebook, just send them my obit to “memorialize” my profile page, no tweets, or RT’s.
How do you want to be remembered in cyberspace?
Tags: addict, death, Facebook, family, friends, parents
Posted in family, parents, people | 2 Comments »
November 7th, 2009
While posting on blogher, I came across a fascinating piece about a new service to care for your pets (and in four states: horses, camels, llamas and donkeys) after “the Rapture”. The service, Eternal Earthbound Pets has a team of “confirmed atheists” who “will still be here on Earth after you’ve received your reward.” It’s a pretty out-there concept, but it got me thinking, what happens to pets when their owners die? And how does anyone know that dogs won’t be first in line at the Pearly Gates?
This is Midori, a year old spayed female up for adoption
If your parents or loved ones have pets, it’s another chance to talk about what their wishes are. The guidelines according to the Humane Society are very similar to estate planning for humans. They encourage you to set up a trust for the care of your pets, appoint caregivers, and make sure family and neighbors know how many pets you have, who the emergency caregivers are, and their contact information. Here’s a link to a great factsheet they’ve put out.
Don’t you think it would be easier to start “the Conversation” over the future care of a beloved animal?
And if you don’t have a pet? Think about adoption. Midori here is up for adoption at the Humane Society of Knox County, Maine. According to Thive NYC, having and walking a dog will boost your exercise level five-fold. “Dog walking is a lot more rewarding than standing on a treadmill. If treadmills were the answer there wouldn’t be so many of them holding up clothes”. So, which would get you to get up and walk? A large and expensive coat hanger, or man’s best friend?
BIG NEWS: I was just accepted into the Blogging Boomers Carnival, so please be sure to check out BloggingBoomers Carnival #138 being hosted this week at the Boomer Chronicles.
Tags: dogs, estate, heaven, parents, pets, planning, wishes
Posted in conversation, exercise, family, parents, people, walking | 2 Comments »
November 13th, 2009
Yes, another blog about men and bars (dogs too).
This time, our 81 year old protagonist walks into a bar in Queens, to wager with OTB (off track betting for you non-New Yorkers), trips over a dog lying on the floor, and is suing the bar. But wait, it’s not what you think. He’s suing the bar because the fall caused him “severe pain, shock, mental anguish” and ruined his sex life with his wife, Jaclyn.
Could this ruin your sex life?
Has that sunk in yet? 81 years old and his sex life is ruined???? By a Pomeranian? No news on how much he thinks his sex life is (or was) worth, or who the lawyer is who thinks the case has merit. And just for the record, no one in the bar at the time remembers this incident. Wouldn’t you think that if he fell hard enough to smash his knee, someone would have noticed and called for an ambulance? No one is claiming the errant Pomeranian either. For the full story, check out the article in the NY Daily News. Here’s one of the comments: “wrecked his sex life??!! It probably wrecked his dreams of being star quarterback too..”
Maybe once you reach retirement age, aging at home should be for both you and the scotch? What do you think? Should we be cheering this guy on for having a sex life in his 80′s? Shouldn’t Mayor Bloomberg pass some local ordinance about tripping hazards in watering holes?
Don’t forget to check out this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival.
Tags: bar, dogs, lawyer, men, sex
Posted in aging, people, seniors, stories, walking | No Comments »
November 20th, 2009
I was never one of those women who pictured herself in a big white gown, walking down the aisle. For me it was more about getting married in Las Vegas by an Elvis impersonator on the Strip and having a great party in New York afterward.
When Frank and I decided to get married, my only stipulation was that my mother didn’t know about it. If that sounds harsh, understand the women on my mother’s side of the family tend to be a little obsessive. To compound that, my mother and my aunt are twins, my aunt lives in Manhattan, and used to be one of the famous fact checkers at the New Yorker. If the twins knew about the wedding, it would be endless obsession over food, drink, napkins, guests… everything.
As we usually host Thanksgiving, the plan was to get married the next afternoon. A justice of the peace was found who would come to our country house and perform the ceremony. We told everyone he was an architect coming to look at the house, and he was great about playing along.
On Friday afternoon, a few friends and family were up at our house eating turkey sandwiches, hanging out in their slippers. My best friend/maid of honor, and I were frantically trying to put the Martha Stewart touch to a bunch of lily of the valley. When the justice of the peace showed up, I came down the stairs in an off white cashmere turtleneck and velvet skirt and said “I know you thought we were going to announce our engagement tonight, and we still might, but right now we’re getting married”. Supposedly the look on my father’s face was amazing, and I’m sorry I missed it.
After the brief ceremony, we had champagne and cake, and went off to a celebratory dinner at the Beekman Tavern in Rhinebeck. My mother was thrilled, and as it turned out, grateful that she didn’t have to do anything but enjoy herself.
Three weeks later, we had the big party at our apartment in Manhattan, surrounded by friends and family. The highlight of the party was an amazing wedding cake made by two of my friends out of two hundred Tastykakes (Frank is from Philly). 
And for the past eleven years, we’ve lived happily ever after, always celebrating our anniversary on the Friday after Thanksgiving. Love you sporto!
Don’t forget to check out this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival, and have a Happy Thanksgiving!
Tags: family, father, friends, husband, love, mom, parents
Posted in family, Fathers, love, memories, parents, people | 4 Comments »
December 7th, 2009
A recent query on HARO was asking for sources who were considering donating their bodies to science. My husband 
and I have always been organ donors, and we both want to give all or most of our body parts to science. Reuse, recycle, nothing new, right? But have you ever thought about how you go about actually arranging it? Like many other things, it’s not quite as easy as just having the idea.
While organ donation, at least in New York, is just a matter of signing the back of your drivers license, whole body donations are not quite so simple. First of all, you need to decide whether you want to be an organ donor or, donate your full body. I always thought you could harvest the organs, and then donate the body, but that’s not the case. First of all, organs need to be harvested while you’re still technically alive (but brain dead). Whole body donations are done once you’re dead, but need to be done before the body is embalmed. And there is also living donation, such as donating a kidney, or bone marrow while you’re still alive. The Mayo Clinic will decide which is the best use of your body, however most other sites will only take the body if the organs are intact.
According to Organdonor.gov: “You can inform your family that organ donation is your first choice, but if it is found that you are not medically suitable for organ donation, your family can carry out your wishes for whole body donation.” No matter what you decide to do, you must make your wishes known while you’re still alive. The Mayo Clinic and other sites have donor forms for both organ and whole body donations, but you also need to discuss your wishes with loved ones.
Remember that each organ and tissue donor saves or improves the lives of as many as 50 people. Isn’t that the best legacy you could leave?
And don’t forget to check out this week’s Blogging Boomer’s Carnival!
Tags: body, death, donation, family, legacy, organ, science
Posted in conversation, family, legacy | 4 Comments »
December 14th, 2009
Years ago, when my grandfather was still alive, well meaning friends and family would get terribly upset if they saw him drinking and smoking. “How could you let him do that?” Granted, he was missing a lung from cancer, and had been an alcoholic for all the time I was growing up, but the guy was 92 and still going strong. Was not smoking or drinking going to give him an extra week with us? Or would the deprivation hasten his demise?
Fast forward to a new century. Red wine, specifically Pinot Noir (the grape used in Burgundy) in moderation, is heart healthy. The alcohol and certain substances in red wine called antioxidants may help prevent heart disease by increasing levels of “good” cholesterol and protecting against artery damage. According to the Mayo Clinic, researchers think antioxidants, such as flavonoids or a substance called resveratrol, have promising heart-healthy benefits. Resveratrol may also turn out to be the “fountain of youth”. From a 60 Minutes piece earlier this year: “You have fat mice, and you have fat mice with resveratrol. And the ones that are on resveratrol, they can run twice as far, and they live longer, about 20 percent longer”.
If living longer and healthier isn’t enough, how about preventing tooth decay and gum disease? From the most recent issue of The Week: “Researchers in Italy have found that in addition to other health benefits, red wine can help prevent tooth decay.” And from Discovery News: “Scientists from Laval University in Quebec found that polyphenols in red wine also help to control immune cell response in gums to bacterial infection.”
So just in time for the holidays, forget the champagne, and break out the Pinots! Our friend Steve Girard at Benton Lane, makes some fine Oregon Pinots, that along with tasting fantastic, are know to have some of the highest levels of resveratrol of any wines. But however you enjoy, enjoy in moderation.
And something you don’t need to enjoy in moderation…this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival.
Tags: friends, grandfather, heart, parents, pinot noir, red, wine
Posted in family, health | 1 Comment »
December 21st, 2009
Lost at holiday bingo again...
When my friends and I used to go to Rancho La Puerta, the highlight of the week for everyone was bingo night, probably because there was unlimited popcorn for the participants. I still have the set of 5 papier mache napkin rings I won one night (and have always wondered if 5 is a significant number in Mexico). You may have also heard about meeting bingo where you track all the tired business cliches…”at the end of the day, teambuilding, thinking outside the box, metrics, etc”. And thanks to About.com, course someone’s already figured out how to use this to teach you how to be a better manager…
The Cleveland Plains Dealer has a way to bring entertainment to Christmas dinner, or any family gathering. You mark down on a card every time you hear someone saying something really dumb, annoying, or just typical. On their site you can download game boards, but why not create your own? And the prize can be whatever you were going to re-gift. For my family I’m created my own Holiday Bingo, knowing that some of the following will get you closer to “Bingo!”. If you’d like a copy of the cards, please comment on the blog & I’ll send them to you.
I’ve been overserved
This is delicious
Flatter the cook, ask for seconds
Who needs more champers?
It’s two buck Chuck
How long does the roast cook?
Very thin white bread
Save the wrappings
What about your family? What are the top holiday clichés from around your table?
Happy Holidays to all, and please check out the last Blogging Boomers Carnival of 2009.
Tags: bingo, business, dinner, family, holiday
Posted in conversation, family | 1 Comment »
December 28th, 2009
In the spirit of year end reviews, best of lists, and taking a break before conquering 2010, here are the top three most commented blogs from 2009. Which was your favorite?
From June 1st: What would you do for a raspberry blueberry pie? Secret family recipes.
Does your family have secret family recipes? Mine does. My mother’s secret recipe is for a raspberry blueberry pie. It’s powers are so strong that years ago an old friend of mine agreed to drive my parents’ cat from their house in Maine, back to Boston, in return for a pie of his own. Click here to read the rest of the blog.
From Ann Mehl on March 30th: Living and dealing with Alzheimer’s: Ann’s story and life lessons learned
My mom suffers from dementia. She’s all mixed up and she knows it. Since my father passed away over four years ago, I’ve watched my mother slip deeper and deeper into a shadowy fog of memory loss. The most difficult part is watching her observe the changes in herself. “I just don’t know what’s happening to me. I used to be so on top of things,” she will often lament. Click here for more.
And the most commented on, from June 8th: What’s the number one thing you’d miss from your handbag? Or can I survive a week without Blackberry, Amex?
This was going to be a totally different topic today, but I thought I’d stray to what’s really on my mind. Because I can, you know.
Last night I filled up the car to come back to the city with giant containers of stuff from Costco, a big bunch of peonies from my garden (probably the last for the season), and the usual stuff that commutes from the city to the country. What was left behind, was my purse, and all its contents. Click here for more, and all the comments.
Have a happy & healthy new year! What are the topics you’d like to see covered in 2010?
Tags: Alzheimers, family, mom, parents, stories
Posted in Alzheimers, boomers, conversation, family, memories, parents | No Comments »
January 4th, 2010
One of my recent, favorite, end of year traditions is the giant shredder they have in Times Square in the last days of the year. According to the NY Post: “New Yorkers brought their most loathsome memories of 2009 to Times Square yesterday and tossed them into a giant shredder.” There’s something about the idea of shredding all the bad stuff and starting fresh, that appeals to me, much more than making resolutions. So, with that in mind, here’s what I purged mentally and physically, big and small, from last year and the last decade (not one of my favorites).
- Shredded: the chance of loosing my computer data by backing up to a portable hard drive, and an online service (thanks, Ellen).
- My passwords: time for new ones, and a list of them somewhere, in case of emergency.
- Stuff: dropped off a few things to Housing Works that were taking up space mentally & physically. I’ve learned to keep a shopping bag with a running list in my closet, if you just take a few things at a time, it’s much easier.
- My roots: was way overdue to see Peter at Christopher Stanley.
- My other roots: when the final taxes are done, Project Solvers, my former company, and my storage space where all the old records lurk.
- Doubts: whatever has been holding me back from going full speed ahead with It’s All About Aging. Bootstrapping is a wonderful thing, right? A new improved website is on the horizon.
- Personal roadblocks: Gone! Relegated to the last decade…ciao!
- 10 pounds: That means dumping 100 calories a day or upping the aerobic exercise. Easy!
So, what do you want shredded from the past?
Tags: 2010, aging, goals, history, past, purging, shredding, website
Posted in aging, cleaning, goals | 4 Comments »
January 11th, 2010
One of It’s All About Aging’s favorite guest bloggers, Ann Mehl, is starting an exciting new workshop in February. As an executive coach and entrepreneur dealing with a mother with dementia, Ann knows firsthand what she’s teaching. For this series she’s teaming up with Angelica Perez, Ph.D., a licensed Clinical Psychologist with a specialty in geropsychology
and dementia. For those of you scratching your heads (like I did) geropsychology is the field within psychology devoted to the study of aging and the provision of clinical services for older adults. See…we’re already smarter.
Ann, in her “ample leisure”*, is also a marathon runner. She finds that a lot of her experiences with running translate into her business, and personal life. This from her most recent blog resonated with me and ties in so well with her workshop:
Get Help: The first time I signed up for a marathon, I was so worried about not finishing that I didn’t tell a soul I was running. So while there were no rallying crowds of supporters screaming, “Go, Ann!”, I did hear the occasional, “Ann? Is that you?” from puzzled friends on the sidelines. Why did I do this? I think I was terrified of failing and looking foolish in front of the people who cared about me. This is a don’t-do-what-I-did message: You may be able to handle things on your own, but you don’t have to, and you’ll likely make the going a lot harder. Invite people to support you in meeting your goal. If you can’t find a training partner (say, a friend who will encourage you to keep working on that novel), join a club (such as a writers’ group). But build yourself a small network of like-minded individuals who will support you. Good partners will hold you accountable, lend an ear, and share a fresh perspective, just when you need it most.
The workshop will be given Mondays during the month of February. Click here to order your tickets. And don’t forget to check out the first Blogging Boomers Carnival for 2010, lots of good posts to get your year off to a great start!
* as used by my former partner when you have none…
Tags: aging, blog, caregiving, dementia, entrepreneur, support
Posted in aging, caregiving, dementia, family | 1 Comment »
January 18th, 2010
Everyone always gives lip service to how much they love their family, but if you don’t have a will, it’s just empty talk.
In the survey we ran last fall, 45% of the people responding did not have a will. This is about on par with the national average. So what’s preventing you from doing this? If your idea of a legacy is leaving your family and friends fighting it out in probate court for years, then just go read another blog. If it’s one of those items forever haunting your to-do list, why don’t you decide to push it to the top of the list? Call your lawyer, make an appointment. If that’s to much for you, at least go to something like legalzoom, or Suze Orman’s site, where they have simple questionnaires to fill out and create a will. Here’s a pretty straightforward explanation from AARP: “Identify who will inherit your estate. Use your will to say who gets what. You can leave everything to your spouse, a painting to your granddaughter, divide everything equally between your two kids, or leave various percentages to friends and charities.”
So get to it! And for those of you who already have a will, when was the last time you updated it? Just a thought.
Don’t forget to check out this week’s Blogging Boomer’s Carnival, and please if you haven’t already, donate to the Red Cross or Doctors Without Borders to help Haiti.
Tags: family, friends, lawyer, legacy, will
Posted in aging, conversation, family, legacy, will | 1 Comment »
January 25th, 2010
I’ve adapted these great tips from Sheila Weinstein, who originally wrote them to get through the holidays. Don’t you think they’re great for any tough period? And remember, spring is just around the corner. 
- Let someone know you are alone and would like some company. Often we have no family nearby; friends are occupied and forget that we don’t have anyone to be with so it can be a very tough time. More often than not they are happy to include us in their plans, but they cannot read our minds, so we have to let them know.
- Find others who are alone and invite them to share your own table. There are many other people out there who share our feelings. Together we can have a lovely, enriching time.
- Nurture yourself. Sometimes we prefer to be alone rather than in the company of others…too much noise…too much talk. Treat yourself as beautifully as you would a guest. Buy yourself flowers. Cook yourself a lovely dinner. This is the time to concentrate on you and give yourself the love and attention you would give to someone else. You are the most important person in your life.
- Rent your favorite funny movie — one sure to make you laugh. A hearty laugh is as therapeutic as a good cry.
- Volunteer to serve a meal at a shelter or soup kitchen where your help is appreciated and you can reach out and touch others with your good will.
- Create a ritual that has meaning for yourself. For instance, write a note or a prayer to your loved one, or one for yourself and your new life. Put it in a balloon and let it fly.
- • Be grateful. Keep a positive attitude for all that you DO have. Write down what you are grateful for and keep it where you can see it.
- Get out in nature. Take a long walk or drive to a spot that gives you comfort and peace. It helps us realize there is something much bigger than our own pain.
- Give yourself permission to be happy. Allowing ourselves to enjoy the life we have paves the way for a fulfilling future.
Which will you do? What would you add?
Be sure to check out Sheila’s book Moving to the Center of the Bed,the Artful Creation of a Life Alone on her website: www.centerofthebed.com or on Amazon.com.
And don’t forget to check out this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival, you never know what we’ll be blogging about.
Tags: boomer, family, friends, holidays, tips
Posted in boomers, family | 2 Comments »
February 1st, 2010
An article in the December AARP newsletter caught my eye. It’s about an online service that allows you to bid on medical services (think eBay for Botox, and no, you can’t get it on eBay). PriceDoc “connects you to affordable, quality doctors and dentists for the best cash price”. Is this where our health care system is heading? How different is it from picking doctors on the Internet from the (ever shrinking) list that your insurance company provides? There are still a lot of doctors on the list that you have no idea about, and as someone once said, “half of them graduated at the bottom half of their class”. My friend Dr. Tara Kahn is the founder & CEO of DocMatcher, her ” goal is to help patients and doctors take control of health together.” Is a rating system the answer? Zagat for medical procedures? Do doctors get fewer points, if the patient dies?
Now if only they had to wear their sponsors logos...
If I wasn’t so nervous about things like Botox, I’d actually check this out, but when you’re dealing with your health… What do you think? Would you bid on a tummy tuck? How about a flu shot? Where would you draw the line? I guess the saddest thing is that this is even going on. Why in a country like the United States are we allowing ourselves to be ruled by the insurance companies, and the elected officials in their pockets? One of the many talking heads recently said that politicians should be forced to wear the logos of their sponsors on their suits, like racing drivers, so we can see easily which companies they’re in bed with. What do you think?
This week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival is sponsored by Andrea Stenberg. She’s always got great ideas for entreperneurs, so check it out here.
Tags: Botox, doctors, health, Insurance, Internet
Posted in boomers, health insurance, Insurance, people | 1 Comment »
February 8th, 2010
This week’s blog is about a great event, Hike 4 Hope (that unfortunately I cannot attend this year). My friend Leslie wrote this earlier this week, and I think it says it all. Please give what you can to our team.
“My business partner, Eileen Stern, is an amazing can do woman. Having lost 6 family members in a year (including her Mother) to cancer, she turned her tragedy into triumph by creating Hike 4 Hope, a fundraiser to fund women’s cancer research at City of Hope. Twelve years later her grass roots idea has blossomed into an annual event & this year will host over 1000 participants hiking in the majestic Indian Canyons of Palm Springs.
When it comes to fund-raising for City of Hope, I have no shame. My commitment to COH is a personal one. Given three months to live, I’m alive today because of COH’s collaboration, care & research/development of the drug Rituxan. COH research has also led to the development of other leading anti-cancer drugs; Herceptin, Avastin and Erbitux, as well as synthetic human insulin –all of which are saving millions of lives worldwide. Additionally COH has pioneered the use of TOMO Therapy (pin point radiation) & the DaVinci surgical system (prostate cancer).
We are aware of an injured economy. Unfortunately active cancer cells could care less. Far too many of us know someone whose life has been impacted by this disease. This year we’ve formed a team to hike in honor of our dear friend, Marcelle Freides, who is again battling breast cancer after a 5 year remission. The great news is she is being co-treated at both St. John’s Hospital in Santa Monica & City of Hope.
This Valentines Day marks 4 years since my initial cancer diagnoses and a day of sharing gifts from the heart. Please open your heart and support me by joining Marcelle’s Mighty Marchers through the link. Your gift of hope will help benefit all the mothers, daughters, friends, and loved ones who deal with the shock of a cancer diagnosis every minute.”
And please don’t forget to check out this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival.
Tags: cancer, City of Hope, family, friends, give, hike
Posted in boomers, crisis, exercise, family, Fathers, goals, love, memories | 1 Comment »
February 15th, 2010
On Friday I was listening to the Oprah show, when she started talking about making her car, and every car in America, a no phone zone. That means (depending on your level of participation), no texting, only hands-free use, or just plain not using your phone while driving. Then she had her hands free to autograph a Chrysler…
My parents with their new car
I’m certainly down with no texting, and hands free in a car, but there are definitely times when having a cell phone in the car could be important, as my parents recent adventure will prove. But the texting and driving thing, I don’t understand at all! How can you possibly think you can type and drive a car? If you think you can, besides the fact that you’re wrong, and there are too many deadly accidents to prove it, what is SO urgent, that you would put so many lives in danger? And if it is that urgent, should you even be behind the wheel of a car?
Years ago when I bought a sports-car (yes, middle aged women do it too), I took a two day driving course at Skip Barber, the scariest part of it wasn’t doing 360′s on the skid pad, but in the classroom when the instructor told us that people’s driving skills peak at 5000 miles, and go downhill from there. When did you hit 5000 miles?
But I’m digressing. This was originally going to be a blog about a problem my parents had with their car on their way to see us. It ended up with them waiting 45 minutes in the cold, by the side of the Massachusetts Turnpike for someone to help them. We’ve asked them for a long time to get a cellphone, in case of emergencies, and they resisted. Not sure if this is going to change their minds, but if it does, I’m happy to buy them a phone (hint, hint). If any of this sounds familiar, how did you handle it? Or did it take an emergency to force the issue? Why does it ALWAYS take an emergency to force an issue?
And if you’d like to sign Oprah’s no phone pledge, click here.
This week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival is being hosted by Fabulous After 40. Be sure to check it out here.
Tags: driving, family, mom, Oprah, parents, talk
Posted in conversation, driving, family, parents | 6 Comments »
February 21st, 2010
Welcome to this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival #150. I have the honor of hosting all these great blogs by and about Baby Boomers this week.
Vaboomer.com volunteers at a Homeless Shelter and finds warmth not despair.
A Facebook Fan Page is a great way to promote your business. If you’ve been wanting to create a Fan Page, but didn’t know where to start, check out this nice how-to video by Andrea J. Stenberg: How to Create a Facebook Fan Page.
Intrepid traveler, Barbara Weibel at Hole In The Donut, is headed out on the backpacking trail again, this time to Mexico, Central and South America for four months. Her post this week explains how she came to give away or sell most of her possessions to pursue life on the road as a travel writer and photographer.
And if backpacking isn’t your thing, the Boomer Chronicles says RVs are 100 years old this year.
SoBabyBoomer tells us that, at roughly 50 gallons per person per year, our consumption of soda, not to mention other sugar-sweetened beverages, is far from moderate, and appears to be an important factor in the rise in boomer grandchildren’s childhood obesity.
At Writing Without Periods, Jenny explains why she’s Gym-free, Guilt-free…and Lovin’ It. Read how she quit beating herself up about not going to the gym.
Is this a midlife crisis or the opportunity of a lifetime? The Midlife Crisis Queen has some thoughts on what questions to ask yourself when a life crisis strikes.
Are you curious about the latest medical research on aging? Click here!
Are men with school-age kids are somehow undate-able? That’s the realization that one LifeTwo.com contributor is facing.
Cos Costi of design company, Michaela Louisa, really shot himself in the foot when he said that ‘women over 50 could not look sexy!’ and that there was no way he would want Michaela Louisa clothes associated with 50+ women. Get the full story over at Contemporary Retirement.
Are you mad for plaid, and does it work after 40? Check out what the Glam Gals have to say at Fabulous after 40.
From It’s All About Aging, how do you feel about cell phones and driving? Would you sign Oprah’s no phone in the car pledge?
Tags: Blogging Boomers, blogs, carnival, hosting, travel
Posted in aging, boomers, exercise, family | 5 Comments »
March 4th, 2010
For New Yorkers, a day without NY1, Pat Kiernan’s “In The Papers” is like a day without information. Now, Pat’s making it possible to still get his views on the important stories of the day, without plopping in front of the TV at 7:42. Last week on Pat’s Picks, there was a real “why hasn’t anyone done this before” idea, the GoGirl. It’s a small pink contraption that allows women to pee, standing up. How many times have you REALLY had to go, and there’s not a bathroom, or it’s so gross, that holding it in almost wins. Now, you guys out there, have no idea how big a deal this is, but I know that the women reading this are nodding their heads.
So, after deciding between khaki, or pink, I ordered a couple in case of emergency. They’re in these nice small tubes, that will easily fit in a purse, or backpack. If we ever get our car back from the dealer (new transmission day after the warranty expired), I’m keeping it in the glove box. The other one may be going in my golf bag, just in case. What would you use it for?
Don’t forget to check out this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival. Lots of great stuff, and big thanks to Laura Lee Carter for hosting!
Tags: bathroom, emergency, Information, standing up
Posted in health, people | 4 Comments »
February 23rd, 2010
Not sure how this came up, it might be because of the ability to transfer your IRA to a Roth IRA this year, but I recently
Who to choose? How to choose?
started thinking about who my beneficiaries should be, and how you choose them. Everyone is used to just signing spouses, parents, kids, on insurance and retirement plans, but are there guidelines? Is there a smart way to approach this?
Understand that my list isn’t very long. My husband of course, but if we go together, then what? Since we don’t have children, that eliminates one obvious group. From there it gets dicier. When my niece and nephew were younger, they were listed so there would be money for their education. Now they are pretty much out on their own, and while some money for them would be a nice thing, is it the best use of the money? Do you give leave it to someone older that is needier? What about charities?
Turns out this is a much bigger issue, than just picking a couple of relatives, and signing your name. First of all, you need to decide if tax planning will be an issue (is it ever not?), or if you just want to give away the “stuff” and let your heirs deal with the tax implications. According to attorney Amie Gartenberg, “the tax tail wags the dog”, and with inheritance tax rules currently in flux…
The other thing I didn’t know, was that bequests in your IRA, 401K etc, supersede those in a will. What I also learned is that you should review all these documents periodically with your attorney. Just think about it like this, every time there’s a new president, you should probably make an appointment, as taxes seem to change with every administration. And people forget to update wills and other documents when they or their family members undergo major life changes, such as divorce, federal indictments, or a loosing poker hand.
So this year, spring cleaning for me will include dusting off my will and other documents, and making sure everything is up to date. What about you?
Don’t forget about this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival. Where else can you find out whether spring clogs are for those of us over 40, and other great topics?
Tags: beneficiaries, children, estate, family, husband, lawyer, taxes, will
Posted in aging, boomers, family, Insurance, legal, taxes, will | 2 Comments »
March 11th, 2010
Many people these days are frustrated over the high costs of prescription drugs. I know whenever I have to pick up something for my husband it’s $100…This is causing some people not to fill their prescriptions, which could be dangerous, even deadly. Here are some ways to cut down on costs:
Inform your doctor about your prescription coverage, including your co-pay costs. Also be sure your doctor knows EVERYTHING you’re taking, including over the counter medications, vitamins, and supplements.
- Does your doctor have any samples of medications he is prescribing?
- Are there generic versions?
- Ask if it’s possible to get double the strength of the medication, and cut the pills in half.
- Find out what the maximum amount is that your doctor can prescribe, if you don’t take that many in a month, you’ll be refilling prescriptions less often.
- See if your health insurance plan has a mail order pharmacy. For medications you take all the time (like statins), this may be much less expensive.
- Look for coupons, free trials and other patient support programs from pharmaceutical companies. Just be careful on the Internet, that the sites are legitimate.
- Is there a homeopathic remedy, or would a change in diet reduce the condition?
What other ways do you save money on prescriptions?
This week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival is being hosted by Vaboomer, be sure to check it out.
Tags: costs, doctors, drugs, health, Insurance, Medications
Posted in aging, health, health insurance, Insurance, people, tips | No Comments »
March 25th, 2010
Remember a few months ago when they discovered that a pepper-coated salami, was the cause of 245 people in 44 states getting salmonella?
It turns out that the CDC tracked it down, by using the affinity cards of the afflicted people. According to the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, “investigators from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention successfully used a new tool for the first time — the shopper cards that millions of Americans swipe every time they buy groceries. With permission from the patients, investigators followed the trail of grocery purchases to a Rhode Island company that makes salami, then zeroed in on the pepper used to season the meat. Never before had the CDC successfully mined the mountain of data that supermarket chains compile.”
What happened was that investigators thought it might be some sort of Italian meats, but months later, no one remembered what they had bought. Do you remember what you bought the last time you got groceries? So they asked several Washington state residents if they could trace their Costco purchases. Turned out five out of the seven had bought the same pepper coated salami, and the CDC was able to trace it to the spice suppliers in New York and New Jersey.
While the whole thing is pretty interesting, does it make you worry about the privacy of what you’re secretly stocking up on at your local big box store? Do you want the CDC knowing about that daily mega bag Doritos habit? How about the stockpile of toilet paper in the front closet? Paranoia is fine, but in this day and age, not very practical. If you ride the subway in New York, your MetroCard leaves a trail, as does the EZPass, and your cell phone, just to name a few. Besides, you’ve probably already given out too much information on Twitter, or Facebook, right?
So, do you think it’s a cool use of an affinity card to find the source of salmonella, or a potential invasion of privacy?
Check out this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival hosted by Gen Plus, and have a Happy Passover, Easter!
Tags: CDC, Facebook, people, privacy, salami, Twitter
Posted in boomers, health, people | 2 Comments »
April 9th, 2010
This year along with gleefully putting away the scarves, gloves and snow shovels, why not make part of your spring cleaning taking a careful look at insurance policies, wills and health care directives? Often things in your life have changed since you first created these documents. What situations have changed for you? Are all your directives still valid, or is someone you haven’t spoken to in years still your executor? Isn’t spring a perfect time to dust off those documents, and rethink your priorities?
Since I sold my company 5 years ago, first we got rid of the partners life insurance. Now, I’m looking at my disability policies. Should they be changed to long term care as that might be more relevant to my life going forward, or were they written long enough ago that they’re too good to give up? Mind you, if you are disabled, according to a recent GMA investigation, you might find yourself being tracked by the insurance company. Isn’t it always amazing that you pay so much for insurance, and they’re so loathe to pay it back to you? Maybe the answer is to cover your bets, and keep most of the disability and add some long term care. What do you think?
Then, I’m making an appointment with my attorney to review my will, health care proxy, etc. to make sure they’re all up to date, and still the way I want them. At the same time I’m going to review my beneficiaries, and update those retirement plans and insurance policies. Remember the blog from a few weeks ago? Maybe this time I’ll even get my husband to finish and sign his (hint, hint).
What documents do you have that could use a little spring cleaning?
Don’t forget the other Blogging Boomers, this week’s carnival is hosted by So Baby Boomer.
Tags: insurance policies, review your will, spring cleaning, update retirement plans
Posted in boomers, business, cleaning, Insurance, legal, people, will | 1 Comment »
March 18th, 2010
Why is there a crocodile in a blog about Betty White?
Everyone likes Betty White.
Depending on your generation, you remember her from her days on What’s My Line, Password or the Match Game, the Mary Tyler Moore Show, Golden Girls, or most recently her commercial for Snickers during the Superbowl. I remember her from all of these, but my favorite Betty White role has to be Lake Placid. Understand that I have a weakness for disaster films, so when the chance to see a movie about a giant crocodile eating people in a pristine lake in Maine came up, I jumped at the chance. What a cool surprise to see Betty White as a cantankerous resident, who took gleeful pride in feeding the crocodile. Not only did she feed him, but as he grew bigger his diet consisted of several cows, and Betty’s husband!
Partially because of the popularity of the Superbowl Snickers commercial, her legions of fans started to petition NBC to have her host Saturday Night Live. The Facebook fan page has more than 500, 000 fans, and it worked. Betty White will be the host of SNL on May 8th, just before Mother’s Day. Not only that, it was announced yesterday that she’s going to be starring in a new sitcom on TVLand, airing in June, called “Hot in Cleveland”. Click here to see the teaser.
So what’s the attraction? Are we just happy to see an 88 year old woman getting parts? Would we still think it was funny if we ran into a foul-mouthed octogenarian in Fairway (and believe me there are plenty of them in there)? Or our mothers mouthed off to us like that?
What’s your favorite Betty White role? I forgot to mention my second favorite which has to be her guest spots on Boston Legal, as the one woman who had James Spader’s number…
Tags: Betty White, Facebook, fans, role, SNL, Superbowl
Posted in aging, boomers, seniors | 1 Comment »
April 1st, 2010
Are you an entrepreneur looking for funding? In the new comprehensive finance reform bill that Chris Dodd is heading up, are provisions that would increase the cost, and the time to complete angel financing for new business ventures. As someone who knows first-hand how difficult (if not impossible) it is to find funding, the idea of regulating angel investors, will just make an extremely difficult situation, essentially impossible.
According to a recent Huffington Post article: “Under existing law, start-up companies can raise money easily and quickly from “accredited investors” — individuals with substantial wealth or income. There is no need for the companies or the investors to gain approval from any state or regulatory official.
All of this would change if Section 926 of the Dodd bill is included in any final reform legislation. That section would require, for the first time, companies seeking angel investment to make a filing with the Securities and Exchange Commission, which would have 120 days to review it. This would both raise the cost of seeking angels and delay the ability of companies to benefit from their funding.”
With loans, even when they’re SBA backed, non-existent, a credit crunch, and now this, how are businesses going to get started? Bootstrapping is fine for a while, but there comes a point with most new ventures when growth requires capital. How will the economy recover if no one is starting ventures? And how did a bill that is supposed to reform those “to big to fail” manage to impact those of us who are too small to lobby?
I’m getting off my soapbox now, but if you care about saving entrepreneurs, and creating jobs, let congress know.
On a lighter note, check out this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival.
Tags: Angel Investors, entrepreneur, Finance reform bill, Looking for funding, Start-up companies
Posted in boomers, business, legal | 1 Comment »
April 16th, 2010
Do you know what the 40/70 rule is? If you have aging parents, you should. Here’s what you need to know to protect your family.The rule says when you are 40 or one of your parents are 70, it’s time to start talking about how they see their future, and what their options might be. This is the time to discuss health, living options, finances, driving ability, or at the very least, open the door to future talks. While we’ll talk about almost anything else. too often we all end up putting these important conversations off until a crisis ensues. You know nothing good ever happens when you’re planning with your back up against the wall.
If you’ve had these conversations, how did you get started? What worked or didn’t?
With my parents, I first started out trying to get them to put together their will, health care proxies, power of attorney etc. What ended up working was that I had taken care of my own directives, and could leverage that (a bit). It took a long time and a lot of cajoling, but they did take action. More recently, I wanted them to start to think about what they would do if it became difficult for them to maneuver in their homes. So I just asked them to think about what they would want to do, if they couldn’t climb stairs.
The irony of this, is that late last week, my husband wrenched his knee playing tennis. Dealing with the stairs in our country house, not to mention the manual transmission on the sports car, is agony. You never know what’s going to happen, so the very best thing is to start the conversations early and often. Otherwise you may need the services of someone like Jane Beddall, of Dovetail Resolutions, a family mediator. When we sat down on Wednesday, she was the one who reminded me of the 40/70 rule, and how often she’s called in because families refuse to talk about their wishes.
Don’t forget to check out springtime in the Rockies, this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival. Lots of good posts this week!
Tags: 40/70 rule, crisis, driving ability, family mediator, health care proxies, important conversations, planning, power of attorney
Posted in aging, boomers, conversation, crisis, directives, driving, family, health, parents | 1 Comment »
April 22nd, 2010
Well, that's one way to clean your refrigerator.
Now that you’ve had time to spring clean your documents, closets, etc, you’ve probably built up an appetite. Not so fast. How about taking a look at one of the most used and least cleaned items in your house…the refrigerator. My guess is that unless you’ve experienced a prolonged power failure, you’re like most people in the US and haven’t tackled that large appliance in the kitchen for a long time. According to an article in the Wall Street Journal,”Most Americans clean their fridges only once or twice a year.” And here’s an idea I find really amazing, people are supposed to clean their refrigerators before they go grocery shopping! From the same article a 2005 Whirlpool survey found that “33% said they don’t spend any time cleaning the refrigerator before grocery shopping”. OK, but that means 66% do! My idea of cleaning it before I go grocery shopping is to check to see if we have butter and onions. What about you?
Once it’s clean, or not, then there’s the problem of how we put stuff in it. “Four years ago, in an effort to understand how people organize their fridges, Sub-Zero bought a week’s worth of groceries and asked a group of 12 customers to put away the items in refrigerators at the company’s research facilities in Madison, Wis.”
“What ensued was chaos. People put meat and soda cans in the crisper drawers, which have a temperature and humidity meant for veggies. They put their milk in shelves on the door. While the door shelves seem to be a perfect fit for a carton of milk, Sub-Zero says the area is the worst place to store dairy products because it’s the warmest part of the fridge. And most folks had no clue what to do with the special cheese compartment.” There’s an area I have down perfectly, which is probably why my fridge smells every time you open the door. I have started putting the milk on the shelf instead of the door.
Now if you really want to go for the gold, how about doing your parents’ refrigerator? Not that brave are you? My parents always have at least six cottage cheese containers in theirs, and you can bet that not one of them contain cottage cheese (yes, Dad this blog is about you). My friend Leslie swears that the best day of her childhood was the day they started dating milk.
What science experiments live in the back of your refrigerator? What’s the worst thing you’ve ever pulled out of that Sub-Zero?
Don’t forget this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival. Barbara Weibel, intrepid traveler, hosts from somewhere on this continent, check in to see where’s she’s been.
Tags: grocery shopping, refridgerator, science experiments, spring cleaning, Sub-Zero
Posted in boomers, cleaning, family, parents, people | 1 Comment »
May 30th, 2010
Most Baby Boomers have a video recorder. It may be an older video camera you bought for taking videos of the kids growing up, or a cool new Flip Video, but you know you’ve got one. After reading this you’re going to want to dust if off and recharge the batteries.
For her mom’s 75th birthday, Ann Mehl had her filmmaker friend Mark McDevitt film her mother as she went around doing her daily tasks. Ho hum you’re thinking, right? Before you dismiss it as just another family video, check it out here on the NY Times site. Ann’s mother has dementia, and Ann has written several time for this blog, about her experiences caring for an elderly parent. Mark has captured her caregiving, and kindness as well as the wonderful spirit of Ann’s mother. Here are some ideas for video records for your own family and you don’t have to have a professional do them:
- Practical: Shoot videos of each room in the house, focusing on valuables. Copy this video to a thumbdrive and move it to a secure place off-site in case of fire or theft. This way you’ll have a record for the insurance company.
- Delicious: Is there a family recipe or cooking technique you’d like to know about? Sometimes a pinch of this, or the right texture for meatballs or pie crust is better filmed than on a aging recipe card.
- Enthralling: What better way to have the family stories preserved, than by your family’s best story teller?
- Timeless: Do you really look at your photos on the computer? Wouldn’t you rather see your family as they were at that moment in time? The NY Times piece said “If we want to remember the people they were at 75 or 85 or 93, why don’t we document their voices and smiles and stories using today’s simple, affordable technology?”
- Creative: The Times article also pointed out that the younger members of the family may be the most adept with the technology, so why not let them have a shot at filmmaking?
What other uses for a video camera can you think of for your family memories? Leave a comment. As a side note, because I was so touched by the 75th birthday video, I’ve been working with Mark on another project, and it’s been a great experience.
Tags: Baby Boomers, dementia, elderly parent, flimmaker, Flip Video, video camera
Posted in aging, boomers, caregiving, dementia, family, legacy, memories | Comments Off
May 6th, 2010
Have you ever wondered how men have survived all these years? Here’s a perfect example…
Last week, someone very close to me decided to go to LA for business. In a weak moment I sent him a link to a cheap fare on Virgin America.
- First call: “I can’t find the site, can you send me the link?” Link sent.
- Second call: “There’s no cheap fares here.” Try going directly to Virgin America.
- Third call: “It’s not cheap if I go next week” Have to purchase 14 days in advance.
- Fourth call: “What if I go the 20th & come back the 21st?” You have surgery scheduled for the 21st. “Oh, right.”
- Fifth call: “I’m going to go the 26th & 27th.” What about the work you have to do on the Tony Awards?
- Sixth call: “I called and there aren’t any rehearsals scheduled for those two days.” That could, and probably will change.
- Seventh call: “I can’t find any cheap fares for when I want to go.” I go to Expedia, type in May 18th & 19th and find three fares to LA under $300. Try Expedia.
- Eighth call: “I booked it for May 19th & 20th. Great (thinking this is the end)!
- Ninth call: “Do you think I need a hotel room?” Well, you are spending the night, where were you planning on sleeping?
- Tenth call: “OK, I booked a hotel and a compact car.” That’s wonderful! (thinking it’s amazing there were no calls about a car…)
Let’s just hope the volcanic eruption in Iceland doesn’t decide to change directions between now and May 19th!
What’s your best survival of the fittest story?
Don’t miss this week’s Blogging Boomer Carnival, some great travel advice this week.
Tags: call, cheap fares, Expedia, how have men survived, survival of the fittest, Virgin America
Posted in aging, boomers, business, love, men | 2 Comments »
May 17th, 2010
It must be Blogging Boomers Carnival time!
It’s All About Aging is hosting this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival 162 and for some reason it’s gone to the dogs…
- Starting with a strange phenomenon that occurs at the protests in Greece. A protest dog appears at each protest, barking away at the police. Read more at Vaboomer.com: http://tinyurl.com/protest-doggies (I had to friend the dog in Facebook, how about you?).
- SoBabyBoomer has previously reported on boomer helicopter parents and today reveals how boomer women are finding activities for their dogs-–just like they did years ago for their kids.
- Before you add a dog to your LinkedIn pages, Andrea Stenberg tells you how to decide who to connect with on LinkedIn. She says on the social networking site LinkedIn, a network of 500 highly targeted connections is far more valuable than a network of 5,000 random people.
- How relevant is sex as we age? Is it possible that your best sex is still to come? The Midlife Crisis Queen tells you more about this!
- Then… What makes the female brain unique? Read “7 Sexual Secrets Every Man Needs To Know About Women” at LifeTwo to find out.
- After that, don’t we all want to live to 100? Coming to a pharmacy near you… drugs that will help us all to live to 100. Ann at Contemporary Retirement takes a look at the once-daily pills that will stave off the effects of old age and help us remain healthy and disease-free.
- What’s the most gorgeous city in the world? Paris? Rome? Barbara Weibel at Hole In The Donut Travels, who is midway through a four month backpacking trip around Mexico and Central America, claims that Guanajuato, Mexico is the most beautiful city in the world. Check out her photos and see if you don’t agree.
- If your son or daughter is getting married, and you’re wondering what to wear to look elegant but fashionable, check out these top 5 trends for mother of the bride dresses from the Glam Gals at Fabulous after 40.
- Janet at Gen Plus remembers the days of actual, on-paper, rejection letters, while The Boomer Chronicles says: My parents spoke Yiddish. All of us offspring do not. If the language dies out, it could be our fault.
- Check out my new blog, the Accidental Locavore on eating local and fresh. As we progress into spring I’ll be giving you hints on how to pick great produce and some easy, delicious ways to cook with it. Let me know what you think, OK?
Tags: dogs, eating local and fresh, helicopter parents, LinkedIn, most beautiful city, mother of the bride, old age, protests in Greece, sex, social networking, Yiddish
Posted in aging, boomers, business, health | 4 Comments »
May 21st, 2010
As Aging Baby Boomers, we think we know it all, and have some experience to back that up, but have you ever wondered…
How men can race a car at over 100 mph without killing themselves, or sport baseball stats from the last 50 years, but can’t figure out:
- How the garbage gets taken out and new bags get put in the can.
- The directions to the supermarket, but will buy anything seen on TV?
- Where socks and underwear go after the floor.
- How the dishwasher gets emptied.
- How the soap went from the sink to the shower.
- If it’s not you or me, who closes the (pick one) garbage can, garage door, back door?
- How to make a date with another couple (but can make business dates or book tee times all day long).
- What they want for dinner.
- Where you put their glasses.
- What happened to the remote control?
What are the top things you wonder about men?
Don’t miss this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival! No dogs this week, but some social poop…check it out.
Tags: aging baby boomer, baby boomer, baseball stats, dishwasher, garage door, remote control
Posted in boomers, lists, men | 5 Comments »
June 17th, 2010
If it's so easy, why am I so overwhelmed?
Have you ever read the Oprah Magazine? I subscribed a few months ago, mostly because it was $5 a year from Amazon. When I finally got around to reading the May issue, I was struck by the number of columns that dealt with spirituality, and self improvement. It made me wonder why women seem to need to improve their inner beings every 5 minutes or every other page. The other thing I started to think about was where men go to get in touch with their inner selves. You sure wouldn’t find an issue of Sports Illustrated giving tips on improving anything but your luck in the fantasy leagues. Maybe Men’s Health, (no, that’s all about performance)?
- So do men get in touch with their inner beings?
- Where do they go for inspiration?
- Do you think they get it from watching their favorite team get trounced by their rivals?
- Do women give it to them by osmosis?
- What if they’re on their own?
- Why do women seem to need it so much more then men?
I posed the question to a few people, some men, some women. The most serene person I know reminded me that most of the top spiritual books are written by men (my theory: they know where the money is and that most self-help book are bought by women). She thinks that men read more of this than you might think, and most of the classes she’s been to have had just as many guys as women. Someone else told me that a lot of men aren’t spiritual until they go through a 12 step program. When I threw it up to my husband, he said that he always finds truth in music, and that he became self aware through therapy.
- But how much self awareness is enough and when is it too much?
- If you shirk from it does that make you less of a person?
- What does it mean if you find it in every other page of a magazine?
- If it’s so easy to put your life on the right track, why don’t we?
Just this week, through books and magazines, I’ve been invited to “wake up to reality” by asking four questions, to make my life a success by following The Success Principals, to reject self-loathing and treat myself with the “kindness and respect you would show your best friend”, to make the right thing the easy thing to do, etc. etc, and it’s only Monday! What do you think?
Don’t forget this week Blogging Boomers Carnival. There are some great posts, including donating your body to science.
Tags: 12 step programs, fantasy leagues, inner being, Oprah, self improvement, spirituality, Sports Illustrated
Posted in boomers, goals, men, people | 10 Comments »
June 3rd, 2010
Whether you like it or not, mom is (almost) always right. 
- Play hard to get, check.
- You’re going to wear that? Umm… maybe check.
- You know I never liked _________. Check.
The last time my parents came to dinner, my mother asked about an old friend of mine. “She’s doing fine, but she just came down with shingles.”
“She didn’t have the vaccine?”
“What vaccine?”
“The shingles vaccine. I want you to call your doctor on Monday and go get the shot!”
Check!
If you’re a Baby Boomer like me, and most of my friends, you probably know at least one person who has had the shingles. From what I understand, it’s incredibly painful,and something you really don’t want to get. If you had chicken pox as a kid, you’re susceptible, and interestingly, the spring is the season for both the chicken pox, and shingles. Well, now you can prevent it with a shingles vaccine. It may not be covered by your insurance (why would it be, it’s preventing something), my shot cost $250 (I love NY), but knowing that’s it’s one thing I can really cross off the list, to quote MasterCard, “priceless”
And don’t believe everything you read.The common wisdom is that you can’t have the shot if you’re under 60. Not true. So do yourself a favor, and get vaccinated. Now my doctor says I’m good for another 40-50 years. According to a recent article on tampabay.com there are a whole host of vaccines that we Boomers probably think we’ve had or don’t need, but you’d be wrong. Here’s a link to a quick and easy quiz, to figure out what you vaccines you might need. And please, don’t feel bad if you didn’t know about this, most of my friends didn’t either, so mom wins another round. Check!
Big thanks to Life too for hosting this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival! You’ll like the blog about treating your spouse like a dog.
Tags: baby boomer, call your doctor, parents, play hard to get, quiz, shingles, shot, tips, vaccine
Posted in aging, boomers, family, health, health insurance, parents, tips | 3 Comments »
June 11th, 2010
My former business partner, Leslie and I have an ongoing challenge as to who has the cheapest mother. Over the years the title has bounced back and forth. There was the time several years ago when the Sunday NY Times ran an article about our former business, Project Solvers. I called my parents to see what they thought of the piece. My father sounded uncomfortable and mumbled something about talking to my mother.
“What, don’t tell me you didn’t buy the Times today!”
“Your mother will have to explain it to you…”
When my mother got on the phone, she told me that she had asked one of their neighbors who subscribed to the Times to save it for her. In the meantime, she had gone down to the train station, and snuck a peek from a copy there.
“Mom, it’s not like my last name is Bush, and I’m in every day. You should have told me and I would have sent you the $5.”
That kept my mom on top of the competition for quite a while.
More recently, in a cab going to dinner after my cousin’s graduation from Harvard (doctorate in Public Health, it never gets old!), my mother was telling us about a recent Goodwill purchase. “I talked your father into going to Goodwill because I had a $4.99 credit. I found a teakettle, and between the credit, the senior discount, and the Tuesday discount, I came out with a teakettle, and a credit for $.77!
I think the same thought crossed the minds of everyone in the car at the same time…
“Back up a minute. You had a $4.99 CREDIT at Goodwill? Aren’t you supposed to be giving them stuff?”
“Well, I bought something and I didn’t like it, so I returned it.”
Is there anyone who isn’t howling with laughter? We were!
“You returned something to Goodwill????”
“Of course, I bought a pair of jeans for $4.99, I took them home, and they didn’t fit so I returned them.”
More laughter!
Anyone got a story that could top that?
Tags: cheapest mother, competition, Goodwill, graduation, Harvard, senior discount
Posted in boomers, business, family, seniors | 2 Comments »
June 25th, 2010
Why is it that most families are reluctant to discuss family health histories? A good friend of mine died last year from prostate cancer. He got it at a pretty early age, and at a pretty advanced stage. When he was finally diagnosed, it turns out that there was a long family history of the men in his family having and dying from prostate cancer, going back at least three generations. But nobody talked about it, and so my friend was never warned in time to start getting himself tested at an even earlier age.
- Side note: there was a fascinating study recently about using dogs to detect prostate cancer. Turns out there’s something in the urine, that trained dogs can smell. So if a dog keeps sniffing around an embarrassing area, maybe it’s time for a check-up.
In my own family, I bet there’s a history of depression, that no one has ever talked about. I’ve suffered from it, and think my father suffers from it. But we’re WASP’s so we don’t talk about it (until now). I know that my father’s mother had arthritis, and it looks like my mother has it in her hands. My doctor told me years ago that I had signs of early arthritis in my hands, but once again, no one talks about it.
Recently, my husband was told he has a “tiny bit of diabetes” and he should watch his weight and diet. You’ve probably already figured out what comes next. Yes, he has a family history of diabetes, and he knows it, but the extent of his knowledge, unknown.
So, how do we start this conversation?
Don’t forget to check out this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival, it’s the last one before the 4th of July!
Tags: arthritis, diagnosis, family history, history of depression, prostate cancer, tests
Posted in aging, boomers, caregiving, Diabetes, family, health, men, parents, people | No Comments »
July 1st, 2010
With all the talk about grilling up a storm this weekend, it got me to thinking, what’s your family’s July 4th tradition?
What's on your barbecue?
Is there something traditional you toss on the grill?
Or something special you do to a burger?
How about corn?
Does your family have a ritual for July 4th?
Pack a picnic and watch fireworks?
Make ice cream? I just made an amazing chocolate ice cream. Easy, and if you comment, I’ll post the recipe.
If we’re up in Maine with my parents, we usually down as many lobsters as we can, and if we can convince my mother to use (inferior New Jersey) blueberries, we can talk her into the famous raspberry-blueberry pie, but that’s about as big a tradition as we’ve got.
Her neighbor Nancy has a big July 4th party, and my mother makes tomato aspic for that. If you don’t know what tomato aspic is, think of it as being like a large bloody Mary jello shooter. As much as I was never a big fan of anything jiggly, this is pretty refreshing on a hot day, and maybe my mom will comment and give us the recipe.
Happy July 4th to all! What will you be tossing on the grill?
Tags: fireworks, ice cream, July 4th, pack a picnic, recipe, traditions
Posted in boomers, family, parents | 2 Comments »
July 9th, 2010
It’s probably the most important body part you have, but when was the last time you worked out your brain? And, no, trying to remember where the Weather Channel moved on your cable system, doesn’t count. If you’re like most of us Boomers, the thought of losing your mind, could cause you to, well, lose it. We’re obsessed with crossword puzzles, Sudoku, and Scrabble, but I would guess that very few of us actually make time to work out our brains. Even if you believe that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, exercising your noggin can’t hurt. The most important thing is to get started, and keep at it. Sounds like exercising anything, doesn’t it? There are a lot of companies working in this space, as Baby Boomers age, the market is growing with them. I met some of the people behind Posit Science at a Boomer conference, and recently have been in touch with one of their Internet marketing analysts, Eric. He’s sent me a couple of the games to try out…pretty interesting, and a little scary. Check them out here:
How did you do? I’ll share if you do.
If you want another way to work out your brain, check out this week’s Blogging Boomer’s Carnival!
Tags: Baby Boomers, crossword puzzles, exercise, losing your mind, Scrabble, Sudoku
Posted in aging, Alzheimers, boomers, dementia, exercise, people | 1 Comment »
July 15th, 2010
It’s hurricane season, and depending on where you live, it’s a cause for preparation, or just another couple of months on the calendar. Well, no matter where you live, hurricane season is a great reason to safeguard all your important papers (and if you have a business, do it for the business too). My friend, CPA, Linda Hamilton offers the following tips:
Create a Backup Set of Records Electronically. Taxpayers should keep a set of backup records in a safe place. The backup should be stored away from the original set.
- Keeping a backup set of records – including, for example, bank statements, tax returns, insurance policies, etc. – is easier now that many financial institutions provide statements and documents electronically, and much financial information is available on the Internet.
- You might also want to add copies of your passport, drivers licence, even credit cards.
- Even if the original records are provided only on paper, they can be scanned, which converts them to a digital format.
- Once documents are in electronic form, taxpayers can download them to a backup storage device, like an external hard drive, thumb drive, or burn them onto a CD or DVD.
- Taxpayers should consider online backup, which is the only way to ensure data is fully protected. With online backup, files are stored in another region of the country – so if a hurricane or other natural disaster occurs, documents remain safe (I use Carbonite).
- Document Valuables. Another step a taxpayer can take to prepare for disaster is to photograph or videotape the contents of his or her home, especially items of higher value. A photographic record can help prove the market value of items for insurance and casualty loss claims. Photos and videos should be stored with a friend or family member who lives outside the area, or can also be stored online. Putting the videos on YouTube, is probably not a great idea…
- Update Emergency Plans. Emergency plans should be reviewed annually. Personal and business situations change over time, as do preparedness needs.
- Don’t put it off. The next rainy day, is a good day to do it.
And don’t forget this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival. Where else can you get info on everything from PSA tests to why you should be on LinkedIn?
Tags: backup set of records, bank statements, financial information, hurricane season, insurance policies, tax returns
Posted in aging, boomers, business, crisis, people, taxes | 1 Comment »
July 26th, 2010
What do you think is the number one site used in divorce cases involving infidelity? What happens when lettuce runs amok? Where else could you find the answers to these and other burning issues for Boomers, but the Blogging Boomers Carnival? I’m hosting this week and invite you to check out and comment on:
Family law attorneys say the number one site most often used as evidence in divorce cases involving infidelity is Facebook. Read about it at LifeTwo.com.
Over at Contemporary Retirement, Ann reports on a new study that suggests that it’s friends, and not children or grandchildren, that could be the key to a happy retirement.
SoBabyBoomer tells us about two boomers, concerned with surviving their individual career challenges in a declining economy, visit the library to discuss how to proceed with their phased retirement.
As it turns out, the medicinal properties of THC found in cannabis or marijuana go far beyond soothing pain and nausea. They may even cure cancer someday! Learn more here.
A trip down Memory Lane with The Boomer Chronicles. My fab RV trip down South.
It used to be easy. Wear red shoes with a red purse. How things have changed! Get the scoop on the modern rules for co-ordinating your purse and shoes at Fabulous after 40.
Vaboomer has a giant lettuce plant gone amok in her crazy garden. Help!
Janet Wendy at Gen Plus has fallen in love all over again…with an Android. The Droid X by Motorola, to be exact.
And I’ve got another blog,the Accidental Locavore, check it out and see what I’m cooking and eating that’s local and fresh. This week’s farmbasket was loaded with tomatoes, corn, and lots of other goodies.
Tags: Boomers, career challenges, cure cancer, Facebook, hosting, infidelity, lettuce, local and fresh, lovavore, medicinal properties, retirement, RV trip
Posted in boomers, business, family, health, memories, people | 2 Comments »
September 20th, 2010
I’m hosting the Blogging Boomers Carnival this week, and have we got some interesting topics! Check them out and let me know which is your favorite.
Over at Contemporary Retirement. Ann is hoping that an article entitled: ‘Why are all older men so stupefyingly boring?’ will provoke some debate…
Blue-collar retirement is different. Read more at The Boomer Chronicles.
Gawking at a 12.4% unemployment rate in California, Janet at Gen Plus looks at possible shifts in the tide.
The Midlife Crisis Queen has been thinking a lot lately about the choice she made years ago to live her life kid-free and why she did it.
She also just started a Stress Management for Writers blog, especially geared towards helping those who came to professional writing later in life.
Guess what? Social network use by seniors is booming – up over 88%. Over 47% of those between 50 and 64 are now using them. LifeTwo discusses what is behind this surprising trend.
SoBabyBoomer tells us the anti-aging phenomenon started off with understandable intentions. Boomers were getting older and didn’t like what they saw or how they felt.
Vaboomer says goodbye Summer, hello Autumn!
Are you looking for some stylish yet age appropriate fall footwear that is both stylish and comfortable? Then head on over to see what the Glam Gals have picked out for you over at Fabulous After 40! (Check out the great boots!)
And at my other blog, the Accidental Locavore, find out what September brings from the farm, and how to make your own yogurt.
Tags: Baby Boomers, boring, carnival, retirement, unemployment
Posted in aging, boomers, men | No Comments »
August 6th, 2010
Do you worry about being alone when you get older? Pretty common worry, right? But maybe Baby Boomers don’t have so much to worry about. A month ago, I was at a lecture that Gary Vaynerchuk was giving. If you don’t know who he is, he’s turned his family’s liquor store into a multi-million dollar business, using social media. He’s also a crazy, young, guy, with unlimited energy, and he makes a great speaker. One of his many great ideas was that he’s not worried about getting older alone, because he’s so connected with social media. Interesting idea, right?
Aren’t your parents connected in some way with other people, on the Internet? Whether it’s just e-mail, or they exchange photos online, or keep a Facebook page, our parents are out there to some degree. The iPad has become a huge hit with seniors worldwide, and the oldest Twitter user just died at 104. And Boomers are online and using social media even more. Whether you’re addicted to Facebook, or just don’t get it, you’re probably online a lot more than your parents. You may not consider them all your BFF’s but think about how many people you connect with through LinkedIn, Twitter, Facebook, even YouTube. And who knows what the Twitter of the next ten or twenty years will be?
So for us, maybe the issue will be how we find time to be alone, in a connected world. What do you think?
For other connected Boomers, please check out this week’s Blogging Boomers Carnival. Interesting posts on social media, and living longer, check it out!
Tags: being alone, BFF, e-mail, Facebook, iPad and seniors, LinkedIn, Twitter, using social media
Posted in aging, boomers, parents, seniors, Technology | 1 Comment »
